The Trouble is I Love Them Both
by IConcurVehemently
Summary: Kairi sets out on an epic journey to find out who she really is, and Sora and Riku are hot on her trail, desperately trying to find the girl they both love. Will Kairi survive long enough to find herself, or will the universe be too much? SoraxKairixRiku
1. Prologue: Windows

**Disclaimer: Not my characters. Just my plot.**

That was always one thing I loved about my room: my window.

It wasn't your average window – there was no white pane below it where you could rest a book, a candle, or a picture. There was no golden lock between the sheets of carefully measured glass – however, there was a peculiar keyhole on the wall, which was silly – you couldn't open a sheet of glass, as there was no hinge. And it did not span a wall; if it did, I would see either my parents' room or the bathroom. Instead, it spanned my ceiling, stretching the exact length and width of my queen-sized bed. Whenever I slept, I felt like I was being kissed by the stars.

That window was my lullaby; ever since I was a little girl, I would lie in my bed and stare at the sky before I fell asleep. And it always comforted me. The moonlight was a nightlight when I was troubled; the stars sang joyously to me when I was pleased; the rain would massage my thoughts when I was frustrated, lulling me into a drowsy content.

I understood why my parents had the window built for me: they were afraid I'd feel trapped in a room where I couldn't see outside. And for that, I was thankful. However, I missed out on one thing other people with windows got: the ability to open it. While other girls could open their walls to the outside world, I could merely ponder the complexity of my cosmos with a detached wonder.

The window wasn't designed to give me the never-ending sky. It was designed to keep me from it.


	2. Chapter One: Sunrises with Selphie

**A/N: This story takes place about six to ten months after the end of KHII. Both Sora and Kairi have been joined with their nobodies. Kairi and Sora are seventeen, while Riku is eighteen. **

**Disclaimer: To be or not to be – that is the question. Not whether I own Kingdom Hearts. Because I don't.**

* * *

"Kairi! Kairi! KAIRI! Darn it, Kai, answer me! _Kairi!_"

I lifted my head groggily from my pillow, trying to find the impatient voice that awakened me. Squinting through half-opened eyes, I saw nobody. _That's odd,_ I thought. _Normally, voices required someone to you know, make them…_

"KAIRI!"

I jumped suddenly at the shrill tone, rolling over to my right onto my back. The problem was there was no more _bed_ to my right. Good morning back! Meet floor! I fell with a thud.

"KAIRI HANNER, ANSWER ME!"

"Good lord! Where are you, oh impatient human alarm clock?" I grumbled. Not only was I tired, but my head hurt now from hitting the ground. I felt a buzzing vibrating the hardwood – my phone. I held the screen closer to my face, trying to read the number. It promptly yelled at me: "Kairi! C'mon!"

Suddenly, it all made sense as I saw Selphie's picture flashing. Oh. She had recorded one of those personal ringtone things. I had three missed calls - Selph must have really wanted something. I slid the phone open and pressed the green button. She answered after one-eighth of a ring.

"There you are! Good god, Kai, I thought you'd never answer!"

"Well, maybe that's because most people don't call their best friends at -" I reached up behind my head for my alarm clock. 7:28 A.M. "seven thirty in the morning."

"Well, most people call their best friends after a hot date with a SENIOR to tell them about it!"

"Well, most people are patient!" I hotly retorted.

"I'm not most people!" I heard the peals of laughter from her end of the line. "C'mon, Kai! I'm just excited for you!"

"Yeah, I know. But couldn't you have been more excited at, oh, I don't know, ten?"

"Oh, shut up. I almost called you at five." More laughter. "Now, tell me everything about your date with Riku!"

I sat up, one hand on the phone, the other on my head. I could feel a knot forming. Great. I pulled myself back into my bed, nestling into the warm spot I had so quietly occupied pre-Selphie's rude awakening. My eyes gazed through my window – dawn hadn't broken yet. If I hurried, I could get to the island and watch the sunrise.

"Hey Selph? Want to meet me at the paopu tree in fifteen? I'll tell you about it then."

"Ok!" Selph loved watching the sunrise almost as much as I did. "How romantic – you're telling me a love story while we watch the sun come up!" She sighed. "Kairi, you're so lucky…"

"Ok, Selph. See you in fifteen." Nobody deserved to be confronted with the hopeless romanticism of Selphie Timlitt this early in the morning. Especially not me.

I got up, changed out of my white camisole and navy blue shorts that I'd fallen asleep in, and pulled on a white baby-sleeved tee over a pair of dark blue jeans. Grab my sandals, and I was good to go. Quick brush through the hair, splash some water on my face…this was what I loved about sunrises with Selphie. There was no pressure to dress up, no push to be the "pretty girl." It was effortless.

I scribbled a quick note to my parents and left it on the kitchen table; then, I padded silently to the door and shimmied out, placing my flip flops on my feet once I had shut the door and I was sure my parents could no longer hear my footsteps. I loved the early morning air – everything smelled so fresh, untouched. There was nothing to mar the uncomplicated beauty of everything. Things were just as they were, elegant in their simplicity.

I made my way to the dock and stepped in my boat. Years of practice had left me used to the feeling of water beneath my feet; I hardly felt the change in footing from ground to water anymore. I could see Selphie's boat about one hundred feet out from me; she waved enthusiastically. I untied myself, and paddled quickly to close our distance.

"Kairi," she squealed as soon as I was in earshot, "you have so much to tell me! I'm so excited for you! What all did he say? What'd you do?" She gasped, her eyes lighting up. "Did he kiss you?"

I chuckled at my friend's enthusiasm. Even at seven forty-five on a Saturday morning, Selphie's good-hearted nature was endearing. Even if she overdid it with the romanticism.

"Gee, Selph. One at a time, please. I'm still not fully awake." Dawn was just breaking, gradually shading the sky with timid hues of pink. I sighed; so much for a quiet sunrise.

"How can you be so nonchalant about this? You just had a date with one of the hottest guys on the island. Let me repeat that: You just had a _date_ with one of the _hottest_ guys on the island."

"That guy happens to be one of my best friends, Selph. It was no big deal."

"No big deal? Kairi Hanner, this is a very big deal! A senior boyfriend…with a car…and oh my god," she squealed, "think about _prom!_"

"Life isn't about fancy dresses, Selph."

She fell quiet, into a pensive silence. I stared out at the horizon, watching the sea glisten under the rising sun. The water reflected a rosy red; it was like we were living in a picture. After a moment, Selphie shrugged. "You're absolutely right."

"What?" I was shocked. Selphie, the queen of all things pink, was agreeing with me that there was more to life than –

"You need to have cute shoes too."

So much for _that_ moment of genius.

"Kai, I'm kidding. Well, sort of." She smiled. "But no, really. What's not to love?"

I laughed. "You've got a point – Riku's an awesome guy. I've always known that. But before I make the decision to have a boyfriend, I want to make sure it's someone who I really care about. Not just some guy with a red Mustang and a killer body. I want him to get me, you know?"

"Well, yeah," she replied, "although what I wouldn't _give_ for those abs." She giggled, sounding like the eight year-old girl I befriended in what seemed like a different lifetime. "But Riku's smart too. I mean, he's always so serious. It's like he's keeping some big secret or something.

Selphie had no idea what Riku had been through. In fact, only three of us really knew what happened when the island disappeared. They'd been scattered to far-off worlds too, but none of them were on the frontlines like we were. Most had never even seen a Heartless. For our sake, we kept our adventures a secret. We weren't ashamed of what had happened to us, but nobody else would really understand.

"Yeah," I agreed. "Most of our conversations last night were serious. We talked about college, about jobs, about the future…he's really into having a plan."

* * *

"_Kairi," he said. I looked up – his grey eyes looked so somber. "Have you thought about what you're going to do after you leave the island?"_

"_Well, a university, I guess. You, me, and Sora have the choice to go anywhere in the worlds, really." I took a bite of my seafood gumbo. "Maybe L'Universite de la Castle du Bete, or one of the schools at Radiant Gardens."_

"_You have a lot to think about, you kno . More than just school. I want to be here to help you." His words were kind but clear: I had a future that needed attention._

"_I know, Riku. What about you?"_

"_Go to school, grow up, get a serious job – be successful as a man, basically."_

"_You'll make a good adult, Rik," I laughed, trying to lighten the serious conversation. _

"_So will you, Kai. You need to."_

* * *

"Kairi?" Selphie pulled me back from my reverie.

"Uh, yeah?"

"I asked you like four times if he kissed you," she implored.

"Um, yes."

"OH MY GOD!" Her boat shook as she jumped to her feet. "How was it? Did you get butterflies? Did you see fireworks? Oh my god, your first kiss!" She jumped again, nearly sending her into the calm ocean.

"It was nice. I mean, it wasn't anything passionate – just a simple kiss goodnight. Nothing more. It was very mature, really."

"How can you be so calm about this? Your first kiss!" With the way she was squealing, she'd wake up half the island at this rate.

"I _am_ excited! I'm just not trying to make it more than it was."

"You're _so_ lucky! I remember this one time, Tidus and I were walking – it was sometime in July, maybe? I don't know, anyways…"

* * *

_It was three days after they came back. I walked into the Secret Place, where we used to play as children. I found myself staring at the door with no keyhole – the door that couldn't open and yet opened our lives to all sorts of trouble._

"_They're not coming back, you know."_

_I turned around, and found myself gazing into his beautiful blue eyes. Had they always been that deep? I noticed he was staring at me – I guess I should respond._

"_Yeah. They're gone. And you're back." I smiled at this last part. I liked the way they sounded together._

"_I know. I'm not gonna leave you again, Kairi." Sora walked forward and hugged me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face in his shoulder, rememorizing his smell. I heard him whisper: "And this time, you're not falling through my arms."_

_And just like that, he was kissing me. It was a simple kiss, but engraved with deep emotion, urgent, unyielding. He couldn't put into words how he had missed me, how often he had thought of me, how he prayed that I was safe. So he showed me. And I showed him how I felt the same way._

_He never brought up our first kiss again; nor did he tell anyone. He never followed through on his bold first move either. Every day after that, it was like I was ten again. He never expressed any romantic inclinations; I was the girl he and Riku fought over, but never really won. _

_I never went back to the Secret Place after that. Too many confusing, life- changing things had happened there._

_And I wasn't ready for anything else._

* * *

"…and I'm still not sure what to do, you know? I mean, we held hands, but he's like my brother. But at the same time, he's really cute…what do you think? Kairi?"

"Um," I stammered, trying to mask the fact I hadn't been listening to her for the past five minutes, "that's a tough one. I think you should talk to Wakka."

"Wakka? Where did _he_ come into this? But you know, that's a good point. He knows Tidus better than I do. Thanks, Kai! I never would have thought of that!"

"Welcome," I muttered, thanking the cosmos silently for the good fortune.

"So, last night was basically perfect then?"

"Yeah – it was everything a first date should be. The food was great, we had a nice conversation, he kissed me - " I blushed a little for her sake. "I've never been happier."

She sighed dreamily. "You're so lucky."

"One thing did go wrong, though."

"Really?" Her eyes snapped back open. "What?"

"I got a nosebleed in the middle of dinner. I had to run to the bathroom."

"I wonder why. Did you sneeze too hard or something?" She giggled. "Or maybe you fell in love too quickly!"

"I have no idea. I've never gotten a nosebleed before. It felt like someone kicked me in the head or something. There was this, like really sharp pain, and then a whole bunch of blood."

"Did he offer to help you?" She prodded. I guess she was looking for a fault or something. Of course Riku helped me.

"Yeah, but I just excused myself to the bathroom. He offered to take me home, but I was fine, really."

"What a gentleman." A sad look crossed her dreamer's face. "I doubt Tidus would even notice…"

I was glad she trailed off again, staring into the now-morning sky. She didn't see the pain in my eyes as I remembered the incident.

My nose had started to bleed just as I thought about my future with Riku.

* * *

**Well, what'd you think? Please review!**

**Sora and Riku will show their faces in the next chapter. And Selphie is actually a lot like my best friend, calling so early in the morning. **

**I hope you guys liked this!**


	3. Chapter Two: Confessions

**Hello again! As promised, Riku and Sora are introduced in this chapter. Tidus is too..sorta...**

**Oh - and Kairi's life gets a lot harder from here on out.**Eventually, the sun rose completely, and Selphie and I found ourselves at the paopu tree. We talked about her latest crushes (some guys named Andrew and Roger from our high school), her newest clothes, and her newest favorite shade of pink – magenta.

* * *

She never noticed I wasn't really _listening…_So I didn't hear him approach either.

"Good morning ladies," he said. The charm in his deep voice was almost tangible.

"Oh, Riku!" Selphie looked at him with dreamy eyes. He smiled at her – amused, from what I could tell – and she swooned.

"Hello, Selphie. Have you seen Tidus today?"

"N-no," she stammered. She laughed nervously. "Why?"

"No reason. I just heard he was talking about you last night."

"Oh?" She smiled in a weak attempt at flirting. "Why would he be talking about me?" _Did she just bat her eyelashes?_ I wondered.

"I can't speak for him…" he started, then added with a hint of mystery, "after all, it _is_ his secret to tell."

Selphie fell for it, like a dog comes running when you yell "treat!" With a not-so-subtle hair flip and a quirky "See you later, Kai!" she was off. Undoubtedly, she was trying to impress Riku with her maturity; he saw that too. So neither of us laughed when she tripped halfway down the bridge to the main island – for her sake.

* * *

"So," I began as he seated himself next to me, his toned legs hanging off the fallen paopu trunk. "What brings you here?"

"I just wanted to talk," he replied innocently.

"Are you sure you weren't going to try and charm me into a second date? Because I don't work like Selphie."

"Really? That's too bad." A mischievous smile played on his lips. "Even if I take my shirt off?"

"Nope. I'm not impressed by your sixteen-pack, or whatever you have," I giggled. Even though Riku was so serious, it was easy to act five years old around him. When he felt like being playful, that is.

"Biceps?" He flexed his _extremely_ well-toned arms, and I pretended not to notice.

"Nope!"

"Pecs?" He openly grinned, and I could see the eight year old dance in his steely grey eyes.

"No! I'm blind to your black magic!" His face fell, and I immediately wished I could swallow my words. Although it had been months since Riku had regained control of his body from the Darkness, he still fought it daily. There were some days that I thought his heart was as pure as mine – which was as pure as it could get, apparently. His laughter was uncontainable – he smiled at everything, reminding me of the young boy he used to be. He joked with everyone; sometimes, he even messed up my hair. And he was so happy that I didn't mind.

And then there were days where I could have sworn that he was holding it back by mere inches, barely keeping his inner darkness at bay. Days like those made Sora and I anxious; nobody understood his brooding silences, or his permanent grimace. If someone got close enough to have a conversation with him, they wouldn't understand why he spoke with his eyes shut.

But then again, they'd never spoken to someone who was possessed.

Riku was by far the strongest person I knew after all he'd gone through; it broke my heart to think he'd done it all for me. I would trade my pure heart for anything, just so I could give him back what he'd bartered for me: his innocence.

"Riku…I-I didn't mean that. I'm so sorry," I mumbled. Seeing his face fall into pained remorse brought me to the verge of tears.

"It's ok, Kai. It's part of who I am."

"No!" I forcefully replied! "Don't ever think that! Just because you had trouble before -"

"Don't you mean, 'Just because you lost your heart to the Darkness before?'" he questioned.

"No!"

"Well, that's what happened." His tone was curt. He glared angrily at the sand beneath us; I could almost feel it shuddering under his severe gaze. He was so hard on himself.

"You did it out of love," I replied quietly after a moment. "You did it for me. Don't think I forget that. I'll never thank you enough for what you did, Riku." I looked at him, and I felt like a five year old again – but not because I was laughing. When he got angry like this, it seemed like I was asking for his approval in Kindergarten all over.

"Yeah." He lifted his eyes to the horizon. "I did it out of love." He turned to look at me, and his grey eyes were deeper than I'd ever seen them before.

"I just wish I had chosen the right path." I was a prisoner; his eyes were my shackles and his words were the wall to which I was tethered. I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. I could only look back.

"You deserve a hero, Kairi. And I wish I didn't feel like the villain. I'd give anything to go back and rewrite the fairytale…maybe then I'd feel more worthy of the princess."

"Riku…" I stammered.

"No, you don't understand. It wasn't like the Darkness was easy; it wasn't. I knew what I was doing. And it's not that I wanted power; that just sort of came with the situation." He took a ragged breath; I could see how much this hurt him. I wanted to reach out and comfort him, but I was still his prisoner. "But I'd face it all over again if it meant that I would be the one to save you."

"I know what you did for me," I said quietly. "You carried my body for so long…you never gave up on me."

"But that didn't matter in the end. Sora was still the one to unlock your heart. And what's worse?" He tossed his head angrily, looking up to the sky. "That could have – should have – been me."

"Riku…I don't think of you any less. You know that -" my voice cracked. "Don't you?"

"Yeah. And I'm really grateful. But the whole experience taught me something: when you really love someone, it's worth the fight. And the pain. And the loss. And I'd do it all again. For you, Kairi. Look, I'm not asking for a second date. I'm asking for a second _chance_. Give me a chance to be your hero. Give me a chance to be the knight that storms the tower and saves the princess."

I was at a complete loss of what to say. He looked at me again, and his eyes had never looked lighter – or more intense. The depth of his words burned a silver path into my heart. I wanted to cry.

"And eventually, I hope you give me the chance to be your King. I know the future is difficult for you; let me be there. I've made bad choices, but I'll make a good man."

"I know," I whispered. He rose to his feet, lightly jumping to the sand with the agility of a prowling cat. He didn't turn to face me, but his words were clear.

"I did it out of love."

Then he walked away, leaving me alone on the paopu tree.

* * *

I don't know how long I sat there, looking at everything and nothing at the same time. Another familiar voice pulled me from the depths of my thought:

"Hey, Kai. Why are you crying?"

"It – it's nothing." I quickly wiped the tears from my cheek, silently wondering how long it took tearstains to fade. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to come see you." He slowly walked to my side, and sat next to me on the opposite side from where Riku had been. From the look on his face, he didn't know what to say. We sat in silence for a while, both staring out at the cerulean sea. Then he spoke:

"How was your date last night?"

"Fine," I quickly replied. "I had a lot of fun."

"Oh," he replied, "that's good. I'm glad you had a good time." We sat in silence again. Occasionally, I'd steal a glance in his direction; the puzzled look on his face was comical. I wanted to laugh, but that would make him even more nervous. _Just spit it out_, I thought. _It ain't exactly rocket science…_

"Does he make you happy?" He turned to face me, and I looked at my reflection in his brilliant blue eyes; I understood why his mother named him after the sky. For so long, he had _been_ my sky. What was he now? How could I answer that truthfully and not hurt his feelings?

"Yeah…I mean, it was just one date – it's not like he's my boyfriend or anything." His expression was incomprehensible, and I rushed forward. "I mean, he might be eventually, I don't know. It was just one date. Yeah, I've known him for years, but -"

"Do I make you happy?"

That caught me completely off-guard. "What?" I stammered.

"Do I make you happy?" he implored, eyes never leaving mine.

"You're my best friend," I answered truthfully. "Of course you make me happy."

"I meant as more than that."

"Sora…" _How do I answer this?_ I silently begged for something, _anything_, to interrupt this conversation. Fate left me knocking, so I pushed on gingerly. "We've never…been more than…that."

"Because I thought before was enough."

"…what?" _When did my voice get so little?_

"That's why I never asked you out or anything. I thought you were happy. I thought what we had was enough." His eyes weren't mean, but they were severe. If Riku's eyes had held me captive, Sora's possessed me.

"I – I didn't know. I thought you just liked me as a friend!"

"Why'd you think I kissed you? I would _never_ kiss my sister." His boyish face screwed up in disgust. "Ew."

"Well, yeah…" I was blushing big-time, remembering how much he'd made me feel. "But you – you never _did_ anything after that. I thought you thought it was a fluke in your judgment or something."

"No – Kairi, it was the best moment I'd had in two years," he said softly. "But that's why I didn't do anything. I thought it was enough. I thought that I showed you how much I love you. I thought…" he stammered, and my heart froze. How deeply had I hurt him? "I thought I made you happy."

"Sora, you do! You know you do. I –"

"If I really made you happy, then you wouldn't have said yes to Riku," he stated simply, as if it were a math equation – there was no arguing. It just _was_.

"No, it's not like that! Sora, I didn't _know_! I didn't know you cared about me like that!" I cried, my voice breaking. How could he think he didn't make me happy? He was my best friend!

"Then I should have told you. Now it's too late." I'd never seen him look so sad. His head fell forward, his eyes shut, long, dark lashes resting against his tanned cheek. His mouth was slightly parted; I could hear his shallow breathing. Sorrow marred his healthy complexion, giving him an air of defeat. _How much pain can you cause in one day, Kairi? It's not even noon yet!_ I reached my hand out to hold his calloused match. His fingers fell limply in mine.

Suddenly, his eyes snapped open, and he quickly turned to face me. His hand gripped mine tightly. His mouth was set in an unyielding line, and the determination that burned in his blue eyes was almost palpable.

"No," he said. "No. It's not too late. It's never too late." Somehow, his gaze burned deeper into me. I almost felt violated from its intensity, like I should cover myself or hide behind a tree. "Kairi, you're my best friend. For two years, you were all I thought about. And I'm so, so sorry that I never told you that. But it can't be too late. Can you love me back, Kai?"

I had no idea what to say.

"I'm sorry I never told you before," he continued. "I was young, and I thought that a simple kiss was enough. I've never understood relationships," he added bashfully, slightly turning pink. "But I understand now. Here it is, out in the open: I want to be your boyfriend."

"Sora, this is all…" _What word could I use? Horrible? Wonderful? Shocking?_ "Sudden. I don't know what to say."

"Say you love me."

"Sora, it's not that simple."

"Do you love me?" He took both my hands.

"Yes," I breathed. I looked down, feeling naked once more. "Yes, I do."

"Then be my girlfriend." I looked into his light blue eyes, and I remembered how long I'd pined for him to say that. I'd wished on countless stars for this moment; now that my wish had come true, I wasn't sure what to say. The butterflies in my stomach were on a rampage; I was so shaky that I almost fell off the tree.

"Sora…I can't." I watched his face fall. And for the second time today, I wondered why I was such an awful person.

"Because of Riku? Do you love him more?"

"It's not about loving someone more. It's just…this is all so sudden." _Please, Sora…_ I mentally begged. _Please understand I'm not pushing you away. I'm just so unsure. How can you both declare your feelings for me in one day? _

"I understand, Kai. I should have told you sooner." He laughed a frustrated laugh before turning to me again. "But you do love me?"

"More I thought I was capable of."

"That's how I feel about you too, Princess. I'll make this right. I promise." He rose my right hand to his lips and pressed a small kiss there. He looked up at me; his cheeks were a familiar shade of pink. I no longer saw the seventeen year old man – I saw the little boy. He shyly rose to his feet and without another word, he strode off to the mainland. Once again, I was left with my thoughts.

And I began to cry. _Dear God, Kairi…what did you do? _

_

* * *

**And we have ourselves a love triangle! **_

**Please review! This is my first fic, and I want suggestions, feedback, etc. **

**And I want your opinions on who Kairi should choose too.**

**Vehe**


	4. Chapter Three: Wounds

**Hello again! Thank you to all of you who are returning readers. **

**This chapter contains a little violence, so if you're not ok with that sort of stuff and a little bit of blood, beware.**

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

* * *

"God, Kairi, you're toasted!"

"Mm?" I mumbled, slowly blinking my eyes. It was so bright out, and the light hurt – did I fall asleep?

"You're pretty burnt, Kai. Did you not put on sunscreen?" she questioned. I looked down at my shoulders – they were an angry red. My legs matched. And it wasn't one of those "oh, I'll be fine by tomorrow" burns; it was a "you're gonna have trouble sleeping for the next week" burn. I reached out to stretch, and my skin stung ferverently.

"Yeah, I guess I did." _How_ _long have I been here?_

"Did you fall in a trance or something? It's almost two!" _Good lord!_ _I'd been here for _that_ long?_

"Yeah. Aren't you starving?" She was giving me one of those "what did you drink last night?" looks. Great. That was the last thing I needed – Selph thinking that Riku and I partied hard and got wasted. Ugh.

"Um, wow. I really am," I stated. I hadn't realized how long I'd been there. My stomach felt absolutely empty.

"Then let's go get something to -"

"Actually, Selph, I don't feel so good. I think I should go lie down for a while." Selphie was bound to notice that something was on my mind, and she'd never let me leave until I told her every little detail. It was best to get away while I still could.

"Oh no! Do you think you have sun poisoning? Want me to come home with you?" Her eyes filled up with worry. Although she was gossipy, Selphie was the best friend I could ask for. She'd wait by my side for weeks if she thought it would make me feel better.

"No, that's ok. Thank you though." I did my best to put on a warm smile. I knew I succeeded when she returned it.

"Ok then. Oh – I found Tidus! We – no, never mind," she collected herself from her outburst. "I'll call you later. If you're feeling better, we can talk about it."

"Thanks Selphie. You're the best."

"You know it. Oh – don't think you're done. I know you have lots to tell me," she added as I hopped off the paopu tree. "I saw Sora earlier, and I know you talked to him." She gave me her best "I'm gonna get it out of you and there's nothing you can do about it" smile.

Great.

* * *

It had taken what seemed like ages to get to my bed. After slathering on some aloe and grabbing the lightest blanket I could find, I laid down. I settled into a deep sleep, filled with nightmares.

_I was walking down a long poorly-lit hallway – both Riku and Sora were shouting for me, but I couldn't find them. I wandered through the dark, dank corridor for what seemed like eternity. Finally I reached a tall door; their voices were coming from behind it. It was locked. I tried summoning my keyblade to open it, but I ended up summoning Heartless. I screamed and screamed as they attacked me. Suddenly, a mirror appeared. I watched my eyes turn black._

I awoke in a cold sweat, damp against my burning skin. I was freezing; I tried to pull the blanket around me, but that only stung my charred skin. I didn't remember being _this_ burned. Ugh.

I stumbled my way to the shower, my entire body shaking. It took me thirty seconds to control my hands enough so I could turn the water on. After painfully shedding my clothes, I stepped in. The water was lukewarm, but it scalded me. Another twenty seconds to move the knob – the now-cool water made me shiver harder, and my body convulsed as if I were having a seizure. Slowly, I sat in the tub, trying to calm my body.

"D-d-damn-n-n it R-r-r-iku," I stuttered through chattering teeth. "D-d-d-d-amn it S-s-or-r-ra." I pressed my head against my flaming shoulder, seeking comfort. It was like I had been burned from the inside out; the boys had overcooked everything inside me, and now it was seeping through my skin and damaging me there, too.

An idea wandered idly into my mind: magic, perhaps? "H-h-h-h…" I was shaking too badly to pronounce the word I so desperately needed. "H-h-h-heal," I stuttered weakly. Slowly, light green bubbles appeared around me; they soaked through my skin. I felt a little better.

"H-h-heal," I said again, my voice coming a little stronger. More bubbles appeared. My skin transformed from an angry scarlet to a lighter coral color; it was still extremely painful, but I was slowly regaining control.

"Cure," I pronounced quietly. As more translucent spheres appeared around me, I felt the last of my power drain away. I wasn't completely healed – I guess I wasn't strong enough to un-burn my sunburn totally. But it would do for now. The water falling from the shower didn't feel like angry nails being thrown at me anymore. Shakily, I stood up and bathed.

Thirty minutes later, I stepped out of my bathroom to find my bedroom completely dark. A seething sky transfixed itself above my window; I stared in awe for a while. The magnificent storm painted my bedroom an eerie black, and I shrank a little, thinking of what happened the _last_ time the sky got this dark. When my eyes returned to my room, I saw my alarm clock - it emitted the time, six thirty, in dim red light. _Dinner should be ready soon,_ I thought. I quickly dressed and walked downstairs to the kitchen.

"Mom?" I called out. "Dad?" No answer. Again: "Mom? Dad?" Still nobody. "Anyone?"

I saw a bright yellow note on the kitchen counter.

_Kairi,_

_We went out to dinner with the Rachetts and the Matthews. They said the boys are at the island if you want to hang out with them. There's pizza in the fridge. We'll be home late._

_Love, _

_M & D_

Oh, so they'd gone out to dinner. Riku's, Sora's, and my parents were all good friends; this sort of thing wasn't unusual for them. Maybe I could go hang out with…

_Oh. My. God. _I thought suddenly. _Riku and Sora are together. After everything that happened today, they're together. Oh my god._

I flew up the stairs, feet hardly touching the squeaky wooden steps. I grabbed my shoes and my cell phone. Quickly, I slid it open and pressed speed dial one: Sora.

Three rings. "Hi! You've reached the phone of Sora Matthews. I'm not around right now, but –"

"Damn it!" I yelled. I slid the phone shut, then snapped it open again. I pressed two: Riku. _Answer, answer, c'mon Riku…_

"This is Riku Rachett," Riku's stately voice answered, "I apologize for not being here to take your call, but I promise if you leave your name, number, and a – "

I dialed both again and again, but to no avail. Angrily snapping my phone shut, I glared at the sky. It glared back, streaking lightning across its blackened face, matching the fury that surely ran through my eyes. I yelled angrily to nobody in particular (as seeing I was alone) and the midnight boomed back; thunder roared before another heated pulse of lightning. I threw my shoes on the floor and felt my way into them. As I ran out of my room, I deftly reached behind me to pull the door closed; then I sprinted back down the stairs. I was out of the house before my bedroom door even shut, leaving nobody to hear its lonely slam.

* * *

Running in flip flops was _not_ a good idea. By the time I reached the docks, I had fallen to the streets three times, each mishap leaving a new scrape on my reddened legs. Blood swirled down my legs in angry torrents, mixing with the torn skin and rain. I looked like something out of a battle scene.

Not that I've ever been in a real battle.

Stepping into my boat, I looked up and the fervent sky. On the horizon, I could see yellow streaks of lightning reach for the blackened sea, flirting with each other in a deadly manner. _Am I about to sail across this?_

Another bolt of lightning – for a mere moment, the sky was as light as if it had been a July noon. And in that moment, I saw two figures in the distance. At first they appeared to be dancing, lunging and running at each other in a friendly tango. Then I saw silver hair and brunette hair, being tossed in the wind as if two magnificent stallions were throwing their heads, sending their manes flying.

I heard what seemed like a dainty _ping_ as the silver hair boy threw his arm at his partner; I had learned how deadly that delicate sound was. They were fighting.

_Yes,_ I answered myself. My skin protested as I grabbed both oars; it hurt to even touch the wood, much less grip it. But I forced myself to row, throwing myself into a tiring pace. I reached the little island in less than five minutes.

I stumbled getting out of my boat, not bothering to tie it to the dock. My foot slipped against the wet boards; I fell onto the platform, causing a fourth gash in my leg. More blood. Lovely.

"Stop!" I yelled. On a normal day, they could hear me if I screamed like this. But the howling winds swallowed my voice, and yet again I pushed onwards, exhausted, towards my two friends.

I stopped running when I reached the little platform before the bridge that would take me to the little islet where Riku and Sora now fought. I stared in awe; in their deadly ferocity, the two boys were stunningly beautiful.

They had fought for me – well, no, _over_ me – since I was eight and they'd first learned how to make wooden swords. And I never complained once. Why? Because I loved to watch. I loved seeing the muscles bulge against the skin that protected them, rising and shrinking in time with their strikes. I was mesmerized by their footwork, intricately weaving and twisting as the two attacked, then defended, then attacked again. Their bodies absorbed me, dizzying me in their sinuous dances. I loved the way their hair spun, following the every curve of their neck as each boy read the other, twisting, turning, thrusting. Tonight was no different. Yet this time, each move seemed a little more venomous; each cry sounded a little more deadly; each rage of muscle struck a little more powerful – each blow was not intended to merely sting.

It was meant to kill.

And this time, I was not awed by their magnificence. I was terrified.

"Stop! Please!" I yelled again, running down the bridge at full force. Over the wind, I begun to hear the angry words they spat at each other.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" Sora fumed, thrusting his keyblade at Riku's throat. It was quickly deflected by a deft twist of Riku's hand. "You _knew_ I loved her!"

"I could ask you the same thing, Sora!" Riku responded, spinning and making a jab at Sora's side; Sora quickly jumped back. "You've known I've loved her for as long as we've known her, too." He grunted as Sora made another attack for his throat – Riku dodged, instead taking the angry blow across his left shoulder, which began to bleed as Sora's blade sliced Riku's skin. "It's not my fault that you didn't do anything. I gave you your chance." Another metallic _thwack_ as the blades met once more.

"I thought she was happy! You can't blame me because I was naïve!" Sora cried in response, looking so much like a hurt little boy.

"That's your problem, Matthews," Riku spat. "You don't know her like I do. I knew the entire time she pined for you that she wanted you to do something. _Anything_," he accentuated with another thrust of his keyblade. This slice caught Sora across the calf, sending him flying into the wet sand. Before I could register what happened, he was back on his feet, attacking Riku with a quick combination. "She needed you to be a man. And you know what you are? You're still a child."

"And what, you could do better? Because you took her on a date in a fancy car, you're better for her?" Sora bellowed. I wanted to cry. They were so engrossed in their battle that neither one saw me.

"No – because I have a future!" Riku caught Sora off guard, and he attacked with a vicious combination. I cried aloud as Sora was slammed into the paopu tree, his head rebounding off the trunk. Somehow, he managed to get away from Riku, but the latter still attacked. I could tell Sora was using all his strength on his defense; he wasn't bothering to attack. Not now, when Riku was charging all-out. "Have you ever thought about what happens after high school, even once? Life isn't all about this island, Sora. It's not about swordfights, or footraces, or catching fish with your bare hands. Kairi understands that – so do I. _You're_ the only one that's clueless," he sneered. I had never seen Riku like this. "Kairi needs a man. Not a boy. A _man_." Another metallic _thwack_ as Riku's attack met Sora's impenetrable defense. "She needs a man with a future, a plan, a goal. Not one who's willing to share a paopu fruit with her," he taunted. Sora's eyes blazed an angry blue as he slashed at Riku; Riku read his move and quickly parried the blow. "You barely have a plan for your weekend. How are you gonna fare for the rest of her life?"

"I love her!"

"That's not enough," Riku snickered. "She needs more than a little boy."

"And she needs more than a ruthless villain!" Sora screamed, his voice matching the thunder. "How do you think you can share a heart with her when yours is so plagued by darkness? She's a Princess of _Heart_," he continued. I could see him seething through the pounding rain. "meaning that her heart has no darkness. And you think _you_ can match her? You can't even control your own heart!"

The lightning struck again; it felt like it had jolted both of the boys, because both attacked with new rage. More blood coursed down their bodies as each powerful blow became a little more difficult to avoid. Watching them now, I completely understood how they fought the Darkness of the universe alone. They were brilliant, unmatched in their raw talent. And it terrified me.

They were going to kill each other.

"No, stop, please…" I cried as I ran forward, stumbling onto the little island. They were still locked in their deadly battle. How had I watched this in awe? I wanted to vomit. "Please…" I choked.

Lightning struck once more, and pain shot through my body as a blade reached its cold fingers out and gouged my skin with its hideous fingers. I cried out in pain, clutching my stomach as blood oozed from the wound, trailing down my skin like scarlet acid. I fell to my knees.

"Kairi!" both Riku and Sora cried, both rushing towards me through the raging storm.

"NO!" I roared, temporarily forgetting my pain and remembering my anger. I felt the air shift around me; I wasn't quite sure what I was doing, but it felt right. When I comprehended my surroundings, I was standing, my keyblade drawn in front of me defensively. Riku stood about five feet to my right; Sora reflected him to the left. Both had relinquished their blades, and neither was moving due to my stance. I watched as they heaved tiredly, their chests rapidly rising and falling as they caught their breaths. I felt tears running down my cheeks and blood trickling down my abdomen.

"What are you trying to prove?" I choked out, half seething, half crying. "Do you think a stupid sword fight will solve things?"

"Kairi – " Riku tried to soothe me.

"No! It's always been like this! Ever since we were little – 'oh, let's fight for her!' As if that would fix anything!" I swung my blade out of pure anger, slashing at whoever was closest. They both easily blocked my advances. I wound up on the ground, sobbing, defenseless, broken, bleeding.

"Look at what you've done!" Sora roared. "Are you happy? Do you see how you've – "

"You were the one who slashed her! I'll kill you!" Riku retaliated, his blade making easy contact with the back of Sora's thigh.

"STOP!" I screamed to the heavens. Thunder rumbled and crashed; I sobbed, my tears matching with the rain that streamed down my soaked face. I rose my head when nobody answered – what I saw shocked me.

The two boys were frozen as white crystals emanated from where I had fallen. They stood completely still – Sora poised to attack, his keyblade twisted behind his back, Riku ready to defend, his blade in front of him, acting as a shield. Neither moved, neither blinked – I don't even think they were breathing.

_What kind of magic is this_? I wondered. _I never learned this spell…_ I remembered something Merlin had told me, something about how sometimes if a heart is strong enough, it can control the universe. And I really wanted things to stop.

Come to think of it, that _was_ a spell I had watched someone cast - I just didn't know how to cast it myself. But I didn't mind everything stopping, even if I had done it accidentally. The storm still raged on around us, but the fight between my two feuding friends had halted, if only for a little while.

And in the sand, I bled and cried.

Eventually, I stood shakily; my tattered legs were weak beneath me. I looked painfully at the two boys I loved, and the burning emotion threatened to crush me. I wrapped one hand around my bleeding abdomen; I wound the other over my chest and shoulder, which threatened to break on me. Clutching my body together, I ran back to the docks. I didn't want them to see me like this: bloody, beaten, heartbroken.

Things would unfreeze soon enough, and they would stare at the spot where I had stood. Surely, they'd see the bloodstains – maybe if they looked hard enough, they could see the tearstains as well. But neither boy would see me. Neither would walk away with the sense of satisfaction knowing that he'd won. Neither would sleep tonight with the comfort of thinking I preferred him more. They would "wake up" – I guess you could call it that – and just see an empty space where I had been. By then, I hoped to be long gone. I didn't want to play this game anymore – my heart wasn't a game of who better suited me. They _both_ suited me – why couldn't they see that? They thought they were each the key that unlocked me, but they had it backward. I was the key that unlocked both of _them_. I fit them both perfectly.

But they'd never understand that. They'd want a clear winner, not some ambiguous answer.

For once, I wished I was stronger, like Yuffie, or Tifa – hell, even Aerith had me. Maybe then I'd be something worth fighting _for_, not something they fought _over_.

As I stumbled back into my boat, which had washed up on the island instead of drifting out to sea due to the storm, I turned that idea over in my mind.

With bloody hands, I grabbed my oars. In the distance, I thought I heard my name being called.

This time, though, I wasn't listening.

* * *

**Kairi's pretty strong for a girl who just got beat up! Looks like things are changing!**

**Please tell me what you think! I've had 35 people read this story, but I don't know if you guys think this is worth continuing. If not, please tell me – I won't be offended. I'm writing this for you guys. If you like it though, please tell me!**

**Also, I'm open to any suggestions or grammatical changes!**

**Thank you so much!**


	5. Chapter Four: Decisions

**Here's the next chapter! Sorry for the wait – I've been busy.**

**True-Light-San: **Thank you for being my first review! I was really getting worried since nobody had told me they liked it yet. You inspired me to keep going!

**VergilTheart:** Thank you so much! P.S. I'll keep your vote in mind.

**ElectronBeam**: Thank you! I really like their friendship/rivalry. It'll play a big part in this story.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Kingdom Hearts. If I did, Kairi's keyblade would be a lot cooler.

* * *

I was glad I didn't have a dog. I was glad I didn't have a younger brother or sister. And I was glad that my parents had gone out to dinner tonight.

Because nobody deserved to see me like this.

It hadn't taken much to get the front door open – the howling winds blew it in for me once I had turned the key in the lock. Getting upstairs was a little bit harder, though – every step felt like I was climbing a mountain, and my battered legs threatened to give out on me. I nearly fell twice, leaving bloody handprints on the railing as I clung to it to stable myself. Stumbling weakly down the long hallway to my bedroom, I turned the brass knob with shaky hands, letting myself into my room. It was just as I had left it – slightly messy and pitch black, except for the light from my skyward window. I crawled onto my bed, huddled my arms against my legs, and cried.

_I was looking into Riku's calm, grey eyes. I was sitting in the passenger seat of his car, meandering around the island for the fun of it. We had just gone to the highest point on the island to look at the sky. We had talked about everything – school, our parents, our grades, our lives, our futures – and he had a plan for all of it. So did I. We were a mature couple, not just one in love, but one with a realistic idea of the future. And our futures were intertwined. _

_I said "I love you, Riku." And I meant it._

_I was looking into the depths of Sora's blue eyes. We were walking down the beach, hand in hand. I had just watched him beat Wakka in a game of blitzball; I was his good luck charm, he said. He told me jokes and I laughed and we chased each other down the beach. He had a smile for everything. So did I. We were a young couple, crazy in love with no solid realizations except for the fact that we were mad about each other. And our futures were intertwined._

_I said "I love you, Sora." And I meant it._

_The trouble is I love them both._

Slowly, I opened my eyes. I had cried all the tears out of me. I had begged all the pleas out of me. I had whispered all the silent "I love you's" that I could muster. I was absolutely exhausted.

My eyes fell upon my mirror; I stood up and looked at myself in the moonlight. My legs were bloodied and scrapes covered every inch of them. My brown skirt had a crimson bloodstain where it hit my left thigh. My tank top was a mess – it had been stained from the aloe I had carelessly slathered on earlier. Where the lotion didn't discolor it, my blood did. There was a large gash across my stomach – it was about five inches long, but it didn't seem deep. Most of the bleeding had stopped. My arms were still slightly sunburned. Scrapes dotted my palms from where I had thrown my hands out to catch myself. Both hands were stained an eerie red, along with my left forearm. My hair fell messily in auburn clumps around my head, wet and tangled from the storm. My eyes were at half mast, and my lower lip was cut from where I had bitten it too hard while I cried.

"Kairi," I said to nobody but myself, "you look like you have a bad case of an abusive boyfriend." I chuckled, the kind of humorless laugh one uses when there is absolutely nothing funny in a situation, "How ironic." I didn't have _a_ boyfriend – I had two boys vying to fill that spot.

Thunder boomed above me, and lightning pulsed the sky. The brilliant flash made me cower in fear. _What kind of person are you?_ I wondered darkly. _You're not afraid to run through the storm, but once you're safe, you tremble?_ _I thought you were strong, Kairi._

More glassy tears slipped down my cheeks.

_I thought you were strong, Kairi, _I mentally chastised again.

"I _am_ strong," I responded feebly.

_Weak_, my conscience replied.

"No. I'm not afraid of the storm," I resolved with unwavering clarity. Who were they, to make me feel so insignificant that I could only scream and yell and beg and cry and plead for them to stop? Who were they, to continue twirling and spinning and thrashing for me, even after I had voiced my demands? And who was I, to not enter the fray and make them stop? I had a keyblade that worked just as well as theirs did. I had a voice that was just as loud as theirs were. I had a life that was just as important as theirs were.

And I had a will that was just as strong – if not stronger.

I was not a meek schoolgirl pining for her crush to notice her. I was Kairi Hanner of Radiant Gardens. I was eternally grateful for the two boys that had fought so valiantly for me – but it was time to fight for myself.

"I _am_ strong," I repeated. "I'm not afraid of the storm."

The charcoal sky above me snorted and spat fire from its ebony depths, as if it were trying to scare me into submission. I laughed defiantly, the new realization of self-worth racing through my veins as if I had been shocked by the lightning itself.

I tilted my head to look through my window; I wanted to stare my storm in the eyes. I watched the midnight sky twist and twirl, angrily spewing and chortling, touching the entire town with its fury. I felt my jaw slacken in awe of the universe. Another bolt of lightning illuminated my room; something golden on the wall caught my eye.

The keyhole that opened nothing.

_Really, Kairi? How did you _not_ see that one? The last two years of your life have revolved around keyholes – but you didn't get this one, the one right in front of your nose, now did you?_ Of course – the keyhole opened my window. I mentally kicked myself for my stupidity. _Idiot._

I threw my right arm out to my side; the blade appeared in my hand on cue. I lifted the blade to be level with the lock.

"Open," I quietly said. A bluish jet of light shot out, causing my blade to slightly kick back against my hands. A faint clicking sounded.

The entire window disappeared, but no rain fell through despite the raging storm beyond. If I climbed on my bed, I could jump and –

_Wait_, I stopped myself. _My parents._ Should I tell them? I could picture the note I'd leave – _Hey guys, I'm leaving. _Yes, that'd go over real good. But what else would I do? I didn't have the time or the strength to write a full-blown letter, not that I really knew what I would say. But my adoptive parents were good people – they deserved to know.

And then I got it – they _did_ know.

_I was eight years old. I had just gotten home from summer camp. My parents said they had a surprise for me – they took me to my room and showed me my window. _

"_Mommy," I had questioned, "I want a window that opens."_

"_It does open, baby."_

"_How?" I asked._

_Daddy chuckled. "You'll figure that out someday, honey. When you're ready, your window will open."_

They had built the window knowing that someday I'd leave for home – my _real _home. They didn't need a goodbye or a letter – they'd see the open window and they'd _know_.

So I wrote a simple "Thank you" on a Post-it note and left it on my dresser.

I climbed out of my window and stared at the sky. _They'd know_.

* * *

"KAIRI!" Two voices yelled in unison above the thunder. I dropped into a low crouch on my roof; years of hide-and-seek had made me a "pro" at hiding. I could barely hear them.

"The door's locked!" Sora screamed in frustration as he jiggled the handle. I prayed he wouldn't break it.

"I don't see any lights on in the windows," Riku replied, always the level-headed one. "Maybe she's not home."

"Then where would she be? KAIRI!"

"I'm going to go check Selphie's place. Maybe she's there. You go check Olette's."

"And give you a chance at finding her first? No way!"

_Count on them_, I mentally mumbled. _Those two are the only guys I know that can fight each other and fight with each other at the same time. _I smirked at their retreating figures. Once they were out of sight, I carefully stood; the roof was slick from the pounding rain. This wasn't something I had figured into my plans; how was I going to get off the roof? I remembered the tree near my parents' window – I thought it was tall enough. I cautiously made my way across the soaked shingles to the tree; I shimmied my way onto a branch, my heart pounding the entire time. Once the branch met the trunk of the tree, I deftly climbed down. I was almost out when my foot slipped, and I crashed to the ground with a muffled thud.

"Ouch," I voiced. "Gonna have to work on that whole grace thing." I peered from around the corner of the house towards Selphie's, keeping my cover the entire time. I saw Riku and Sora talking to her mom at the front door – she ushered them in, probably worried that they'd catch cold from the rain. I knew I didn't have long before a search for me began. I spun and started running, my soaked shoes leaving squish sounds behind me.

* * *

Climbing out of my boat, I made sure not to fall on the dock this time. My triceps felt torched from rowing. No, scratch that – _everything_ felt torched. Still, I pressed onwards. I walked as if I were going to cross the plank bridge to the island where the boys had fought, but I turned before stepping on the walkway. There, in the pouring rain, was a little shack that everyone overlooked; after all, it led to nowhere and held nothing. I pushed open the ragged, old door and stepped inside.

It looked exactly as I had expected – the flimsy plywood walls groaned under the pressure exerted by the storm, occasionally leaking, and the little shack was completely empty. I turned around and eyed the door. Underneath the worn handle was a silver lock that looked much too new for the ancient wood; if one looked closely, he could see King Mickey's emblem engraved in the shiny metal. The King had put this lock here, not to lock the door, but to lock something else. Smiling to myself, I clenched my fist, feeling the familiar pattern of metal beneath my hand. There was barely enough room in the hut for me to raise my blade, so I had to squish against the back wall; I finally got the keyblade in place.

"By the power invested in me by the Great King Mickey of Disney Castle, I command thee to open," I spoke with quiet dignity. Another jet of light – the lock clicked. As I pushed open the door, I saw a familiar figure begin to materialize through the rain, turning sand and sky into brilliant hues of red.

The Gummi Ship.

I ran towards it unfalteringly. Throwing a glance over my shoulder, I saw that my friends had not found me yet. _Good_, I thought. _Should I leave them a goodbye note?_ I reached the small island and looked at the Highwind in all its beauty.

Grabbing my keyblade, I etched a farewell message in the sand:

_I want to match up the pieces –yours, and mine. _

I laughed freely into the darkened sky. Part of me was thrilled, thrilled to finally be free to make my own choices, thrilled to be leading the followers instead of following the leaders. And another part of me was terrified, absolutely terrified, because she was leaving what was safe and comforting.

I grabbed the door to the ship and swung it open.

I really hoped this thing had autopilot.

* * *

**There we go! The next chapter should be up soon because I already have most of it written. It introduces a very important character who we haven't met yet…any guesses?**

**And don't worry! We haven't seen the end of Riku and Sora! They'll be back soon!**

**I'm still open to suggestions for whom Kairi should choose. Please let me know your opinion!**

**I'm open to all feedback! Grammar, plotline, characterization, everything!**


	6. Chapter Five: Confrontations

**I know some of you are disappointed with the fact that Kairi made it seem like she's running away. That's actually discussed in this next chapter. Please read on, and I promise it'll make more sense. **

**I will go to my sister's dance recitals more often if I can come back and have four reviews in three hours! You guys made my day!!**

**Aryn007 – **Read on and then tell me what you think. I'm eager for your critique. Thank you for reviewing!

**True-Light-San** – Thank you again for reading and an even bigger thank you for reviewing! I hope you like the next chapter!

**Ghost Writer no. 3 –** Thank you for your review and opinion! Please read this chapter and let me know if Kairi's explanation matches with what you expected. Her fear of splitting their friendship is a big factor in her decision.

**Kinkajou Karata - **Thank you so much! I've had this idea ever since the end of KHI, actually. I don't think Kairi ever gets enough credit, so I finally started to put this down on paper. And I have no plans for anyone to die…at least, no ideas have sprouted in my brain just yet.

**VergilTheart** – Thanks! Once again, I'm keeping your opinion in mind!!

**ElectronBeam** – Good guess! He'll pop up eventually, just not now. And thank you for your opinion on the Kairi POV. That means a lot to me coming from a respected writer as yourself.

**Disclaimer**: Not mine!

* * *

I had been flying for about twenty minutes. As I watched the Destiny Islands disappear behind me, the strongest wave of homesickness hit me – it was almost strong enough that I turned the ship around. But in my head, I knew I was making the right choice, so I pressed the autopilot button and walked around the cabin, thinking that if I couldn't see my vanishing homeland, I could spur myself on through what I was doing.

The Gummi Ship actually had a spacious interior. In addition to the cockpit, there was a bedroom holding two bunk beds (I could tell which one was Sora's, as it was quite obvious that it had never been made in the past two years), a small bathroom, and a kitchenette. The colorful insides were cheery, but they did nothing to brighten my unsure mood. So I grabbed a cup of water from the sink and sat down again at the controls, focusing on the deep space before me.

I was trying to read the navigational instruction booklet when I heard her voice.

"DAMN IT, Kairi!" I involuntarily jumped in my seat at the volume of her rage, my hands clapping to the sides of my head as I dropped the instruction manual in my lap. Her sudden voicing caused my brain to reverberate like a lonely wolf's moan echoes off the surrounding canyon.

"Agh!" I screamed in pain. I knew this would happen; I just wasn't sure how long I could suppress it. After a weary internal sigh, I took a ragged breath. "Hi, Nami."

"Hi? HI? Don't waste our time with the small talk. Explain _why we left_?" Her voice screeched up two octaves with the last demand, causing me to shake under the volume. Consequently, I fell to the floor. In the clumsy process, I knocked over my cup, spraying water everywhere. I cringed face-down in the carpet.

"Thanks, Naminé…"

"You're welcome," she replied smugly. She paused – she was thinking, I could feel it – and after a moment, she shrieked again. I convulsed once more as I clamped my hands to my ears.

"Ahh! Stop, please! After all I've been through, why are you tormenting me?"

"Tormenting _you?_ How do you think I feel? You _knew_ how much he meant to me, you _knew _how much it'd hurt me," her voice cracked. "But you left anyway!"

"I'm sorry, Nam, I really am…"

"No you're NOT!" This time, I screamed under the pressure resonating in my head. "You didn't even ask me! You wouldn't even let me speak!"

"Because you would have convinced me to stay!"

"Because we _should_ have stayed!" Another mental kick, and I felt blood trickling down my nose. I remember Sora telling me once how he and Roxas got into a fight, and from within his head, Roxas wreaked all chaos. Now I understood what he was talking about – my Nobody just gave me a nosebleed.

"Nam…" I choked on the fluid running down my throat. So _she_ had been the one giving me random nosebleeds for the past day or so. "Can we split and have this argument? Please?"

With a "hmph," she obliged. I felt emptier as she escaped our body, but it was much needed relief. I pressed my hand to my nose and watched as blood drops occasionally stained the carpeting of the Gummi Ship. I would have to clean that later. Who knew Nobodies could be so violent?

"Well?" I looked up and saw my sister, my best friend – me – glaring at me. I had never seen her look so furious. Her tiny hands were clenched at her sides. Although she was much too thin to see the individual muscles in her arms, I could tell they were all tensed. And her teeth were bared in the meanest expression I've ever seen myself make.

"What did you want me to do, Nami? I couldn't choose between them...I would hurt someone too much…" I barely whispered. They say all important things take sweat, blood, and tears? I had all three. Thank you, Nobody.

"You didn't have a choice to make. You already _chose_, Kairi! You promised, _you promised_, that you and Sora would be together every day. What did you think that meant? All four of us knew you loved him!"

"Nam, it's not that simple."

"How? You love him, he loves you, I love Roxas, Roxas loves me…we're all happy! You're throwing off the balance of our hearts!"

"I do love him."

Her eyes lit up. "Yes! That's it! See? You threw this little tantrum for nothing." She walked over to the Gummi controls and started pressing buttons. I reached out a bloodied hand to stop her.

"Naminé, don't…We can't go back."

"Why?" She whirled around to face me, her pale hand inches from the steering panel.

"Because I love Riku, too."

"Yeah, yeah – I get that. But you love Sora more."

"How are you so sure?" I retorted.

"Let's see, shall we? Sora chased you across the entire universe, fought the Darkness for you, gave up his heart for you, lost his memory for you, refused to accept me as a replacement for you…" she trailed off. "Not that I'm sad he did, because he belongs with you just as I belong with Roxas." Her eyes snapped back to me. "He chased you across the universe, again, defied Nothingness for you, and came home with you when there were many a lady who would have accepted him all over the place."

"So, because Sora did more for me, then I must love him more?"

"Exactly!" she smiled.

"You forget what Riku did for me."

"Gave in to the darkness? Dear me, how could I forget _that_ sacrifice?"

"Nami, he didn't give in to it – he accepted it. He realized he could use it as a source of power to get me back. He didn't do it because he was bad. He was a good guy who used a bad thing."

"Yeah, trying to kill Sora. What a hero!"

I looked up, eyes blazing. "Naminé, have you ever thought what would have happened if it was Riku, not Sora, who gave up his heart for me? What if you were in love with _his_ Nobody? Would you be doing the same thing you are now?"

"That didn't happen," she replied flatly.

"In a way, it did! Riku also chased me across the worlds, searching for me – he allowed the Darkness to take him because he thought it would help. He didn't quite give up his heart – he allowed the darkness in, which is just as painful. He gave up his memory for me, didn't accept you in place of me…" I swallowed and tasted a mix of mucus and blood. "But most of all, he realized the mistakes he made, and tried to fix them – for me."

"Say what you want, Kai – who had to unlock their heart for you? Who got your heart, remember?"

"Nami, Sora used the Light to get me while Riku used the Darkness. Sora only got my heart because I'm a Princess of Heart – apparently, there's no Darkness in it. Therefore, Riku couldn't get my heart because he opened his to the Darkness and mine couldn't go there. Had the two switched places, it would have been Riku who saved me in the end, not Sora. And then you would be in love with his Nobody, and you'd be convincing me to go back to _him._"

"That didn't happen," she seethed.

"But it could have."

"Maybe. But do you see what you're doing now? By running? You expect them to chase you? What is this, another game of 'Let's race to Kairi and whoever gets there first wins her,' Kai?"

"I don't want them to chase me," I mumbled. "I want to be alone for a while."

"You _know_ they'll do everything they can to find you," she retorted angrily.

"Yeah, I know," I replied, defeated. They would try to find me – I knew that. They didn't have a ship, true, but how long would that delay them for? Riku had his portals of Darkness – not that he dared to use them, as he was still fighting the Darkness from within. Sora had connections – he could probably use some sort of messaging device to get someone to come get them. I sighed. "All I can hope to do is outrun them for a while."

"But _why, _Kairi! Why are we running?"

"We're not running in that sense," I quickly defended.

"Really? Do explain." Her steely blue eyes were hard on mine, livid with passionate fire.

I sighed. Wasn't she half of me? Why did I need to explain something to myself? Couldn't she read my mind – her mind? "Well," I began, unsure of how to define what I was doing, "they've spent their entire lives fighting over me. Ever since we were little, it's always been a challenge for them; who can get Kairi?" I recounted bitterly. "And now, part of me wonders if they actually _do_ love me, or if this is a game that they're playing. Either way, I'm not a trophy prize."

"You can't be serious," my Nobody said.

"That's only part of it," I replied. "All my life, I've always been the one that they fight over. It's like I have no say in the matter. I can't fight for myself. Here I am, heir to the throne of Radiant Garden, and I can't stand up for myself. What kind of queen will I be, Nami? I can't make my own decisions as of right now, and I'm seventeen. The biggest choice I make each day is what I wear, and that's hardly significant. I'm expected to run a kingdom, but as of now, I can't even control my own life.

"I want to learn what it's like to make major decisions. I want to know how it feels to be in danger, and make a choice that affects my well-being. I want to figure out how to become my own person, Nami! I want to feel like I can handle my own problems well – I want to feel that I can seek, instead of hide. I need to find out who I am and what I want in my life. And I can't do that while Riku, Sora, and everyone else is telling me who to be and whose hand I should hold and who I should marry and whatnot."

She fell silent. My knees ached from how long I'd been sitting on them. If I looked an ounce of how I felt, I was physical hell.

"Kai…I'm sorry." She helped me back into my chair. "I guess I understand," she said gently. "Though I still think you should go back."

"That's the thing – whenever I'm around them, I feel so awful about being in love with them both. I feel like I'm splitting up our friendship. I need to make a choice, I guess. And I can't make that choice when I have them both pulling me in two different directions. They don't mean to, but they do. They always do. So I decided that I'm not mature enough to decide just yet. There are other things I have to figure out first."

She swallowed hard, and I knew she was thinking of losing Roxas. Could I ask her to do that for me?

"Kairi, you know they won't wait around for you forever. You can't honestly expect them to sit and pine for you."

"No," I laughed sourly. "I guess I'm the only one who waits for those two to come home, no matter where they are or how long it takes." I felt bad for my sharp tone. "Sorry, Nami – I didn't mean it like that. No, I know that they're not going to wait for me, but I don't feel like this process of finding out who I am and what I'm capable of should be rushed, you know? One day, our paths will cross again – given, I don't know when that is – and then, I'll be ready. If they still love me, then I'll see if I still love them back. I might not; they might not; I don't know. And if they don't?" I shrugged. "Then there's nothing I can do about that."

"So…you're willing to give up _both_ of them, just so you can find yourself? Both futures, both lives, both loves?"

"In a word…" I trailed off, "yes."

"Is it worth it?" she whispered.

"I don't know. I could be completely wrong, Nami," I shuddered. What if I walked away from my life and found nothing out? What if I came back and everyone hated me for leaving? What if Sora wouldn't look at me, and Riku had moved on? _Deep breaths, Kairi. Breathe._ "But I'm hoping I'm not."

* * *

**Good job to those of you who guessed Naminé was next! Poor Kairi – even her Nobody's against her!**

**Please tell me what you think. I absolutely LOVE hearing your opinion. So hit me with your best shot!**


	7. Chapter Six: Radiant Garden

**Hello again! Sorry it's been a while since I've updated, but I've had the worst writer's block. We'll start with some shoutouts:**

**ElectronBeam:** You were close! I really enjoy the little characters in stories because I think they add a lot of color, so I try to throw them in the mix when I can. Thank you for your response. And I'm glad you're rooting for Riku! I'm trying my hardest to make him defy his usual persona of "the bad guy" or "the best friend who doesn't care that Kairi doesn't choose him." I can't technically join your club, but I will endorse you!! Thank you so much for reading!

**Aryn007 – **Thank you for your review; I'm sorry you don't like the plot so far, but I'm really glad you keep reading. I will politely disagree with you, however. My Kairi is only seventeen – she doesn't have a lot of experience when it comes to making big decisions about her life, especially relationship-wise. She gets scared by what she's unfamiliar with, so she runs. Is it necessarily the best decision? Absolutely not. But is it what's right for her at the moment? Absolutely. Over the course of the story, I'm hoping she grows – but she doesn't really know where she's at right now. But once again, thank you so much for reading. I hope you continue.

**Kinkajou Karata – **Thanks! I've always pictured Naminé as one of those friends that's really soft-spoken until you get her alone with someone she knows really well; then she has a whole new persona. And I've never seen a situation where she's livid; it was fun to play around with!

**Satan966** - Thank you so much! That means so much to me! I hope you like this next chapter!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

* * *

We had been flying for twelve hours. Naminé wasn't ignoring me, but she wasn't openly speaking to me either. Whenever I looked at her, she seemed lost in thought; of course, I knew she was thinking of Roxas. I eventually stopped trying to see if I could pull her from her reverie – every time I looked into her pained blue eyes it felt like a bullet through my heart.

So I sat at the controls and resumed reading the instruction manual. I had set the in-flight autopilot (which was actually pretty easy, once I had read the directions) to Radiant Gardens; a mechanical voice told me that we were almost there. I skimmed the chapter on landing for the fourth time; this wasn't something I wanted to mess up.

"Nami," I spoke to my silent Nobody, "I think we'll have to rejoin soon."

"Alright." She looked wearied, like she had been fighting an illness for far too long. I fought back tears.

"Nam, I'm so sorry," I barely whispered.

"Don't be. I understand," she reassured me. But something in her clear blue eyes made me think differently.

"We are within landing range of the chosen destination: Radiant Gardens," the machine informed. Two images of chipmunk holograms popped up on-screen.

"Hi! We're Chip and Dale," one greeted me. I stared on in amusement. "And we're here to walk you through the landing process. I'm Chip!"

"And I'm Dale," the other added. "Are you sure you want to land here?" Two buttons appeared on the touch-screen navigation system – one was green, bearing "Yes," while the other was red, reading "No." I pressed my finger to the "Yes" one, and it dinged.

"Good!" answered the one named Chip. "Please give us a few moments to analyze the landing situation." I felt the Gummi shift beneath me, shaking and spinning; I had to sit down so I wouldn't lose my balance.

"We're done analyzing!" Dale responded cheerily. "Are you ready to land Chip?"

"Yes I am!" Chip replied to his brother. He faced me. "Are _you_ ready to land?" The two buttons popped up again; I chose "Yes" once more.

"Great!" Dale enthused. "Hold on tight!"

As he finished his sentence, the ship began to twist and twirl; once again, I was thrown to my seat. Our vessel spun and dove like some out-of-control roller coaster; I felt like I was trapped in a zany cartoon.

"Ahhhhhh!" Naminé screamed as she was thrown from her spot at the kitchen table. The Gummi continued to lurch and buck and toss beneath us; we clung to whatever was around for dear life. We tumbled downward in the sky.

"What kind of landing process is this?" I yelled above the din of things flying haphazardly around the cabin.

"Some would call it 'falling with style,'" Chip explained as he tumbled around on-screen. Finally, the crazy ride ended and we were left staring at the disheveled cabin.

"You ok?" Nami asked me. Her blonde hair fell awry around her delicate face, and her dress was twisted around her thin frame. One strap fell off her porcelain shoulder.

"Yeah," I replied. "Are you?"

"Yeah."

"Good." I looked at our interactive flight guides. "Thanks guys. Do you see the mess you made?" I mused sarcastically.

"Sorry. Don't worry – by the time you get back, the whole cabin will be spotless!" Dale responded.

"Yeah! We'll have it cleaned in a jiff! Just you watch!" Chip added.

"Kairi, let's get out of here before any more cartoon characters pop up. Who knows what will happen?" Naminé voiced quietly.

"Good plan!" With the press of a button, the door to the ship opened, and we stepped down onto solid ground. We were concealed in a forest just outside the gates to the town. A wave of warmth washed over me – although I had only been here briefly, I already felt at home.

"C'mon, Nami!" I encouraged my companion. "Let's go find the Committee!"

"Shouldn't we rejoin?" she questioned me.

"Nah," I replied. "Nobody here will recognize you, so no one will realize that you're different. Besides, I want you to see all this with your own eyes. And," I added, "I want you to meet my friends."

"Ok," she replied timidly. I didn't tell her my main reason for not wanting to rejoin – I knew she'd fill me with feelings of doubt, uneasiness, and guilt. I didn't want to tarnish this silver moment; I was really happy to see everyone again.

We grabbed hands and ran through what little forest we had left, leaving our only vessel back home behind.

* * *

The gates to Radiant Garden were much bigger than I recalled. The charcoal-grey stones that made up the high walls surrounding the kingdom nicely complimented the polished silver gates in the same way a girl wears a blue shirt to bring out her even bluer eyes. An intricate crest adorned the enormous gates, making the land seem so much statelier.

I was proud to have been from here.

We walked forth; the gates opened upon touch. Naminé grasped my hand once more as we strode through the entrance and followed the cobbled road. Up ahead, I could see the bustling town, and I fought the urge to run lovingly towards my homeland. In the distance, the destroyed castle stood as a dark reminder of what had come, but the surrounding village bore no mar of the darkness. I felt pride that my people were so willing to overcome the obstacles that had crushed us before.

As we walked into the town square, I gawked at the many small shops that had arisen; I didn't remember them being there before. We strode past a weaponry shop, an accessory shop, a clothing shop…the varieties were endless.

"Have you ever seen anything so wonderful?" I questioned Naminé excitedly. "I'm so happy to be home!" She halfheartedly nodded in response.

Many onlookers cast wary eyes in my direction; I knew that I looked awful. I had tried, in vain, on the Gummi Ship to clean my appearance – washing the blood off of my body was the best I could do. My shirt remained ripped, hanging loosely at my stomach, and there were still cuts and bruises all along my legs and arms. My lip remained swollen and bloodied in one corner as well. I wondered what the passerby's thought, holding hands with the pristine girl to my left. We looked like sisters; did they think we had gotten into a fight, and she had beaten me severely while she remained unscathed? Or did they think I had protected my beautiful counterpart from something dangerous and sinister? Or did they think I was just a klutz?

Perhaps it would be best if we hurried to find the committee.

We continued down into the bellows of the little town, trying to escape the questioning eyes of the onlookers. Finally we reached a little home-like building far away from the rest of the shops, for this building was not a store, although it bore a merchant's sign above the door; it read "Restoration Committee" in green cursive letters. I eagerly grasped the knob and pushed the door open.

A wide grin broke loose upon my face as I saw my friends inside the dimly-lit room. Cid sat at his gigantic computer, monitoring the Heartless levels of Radiant Gardens through some complex-looking grid thing. Aerith and Tifa sat in the corner, noses engorged in books. Yuffie stood, looking at a picture of Leon and Cloud, neither of whom were to be seen.

Aerith was the first to notice me. "Kairi!" she exclaimed. The others looked up, first in shock, then in happiness. Yuffie ran forth to hug me.

"It's been so long!" she proclaimed happily. "We've missed you!" She wrapped me in a warm hug.

"I missed you guys too!" I replied, wrapping my arms around her waist. I winced in pain at her strength, and she quickly let go.

"What on earth happened to you?" Tifa asked.

"Don't crowd the kid," Cid reprimanded sternly.

"Oh my god, you're a mess!" Yuffie added, completely ignoring Cid. "What'd you do, get into a fight with the Keyblade master or something?" she joked.

"Actually…" I started.

"Let me see," Aerith said warmly. "Wow, you really did get into quite the scrape. But this should help." She waved her hands gently, and the green healing bubbles surrounded my body once more. These were much stronger than any I could procure; in an instant, any remnants of my disastrous last night on the Destiny Islands vanished. I felt better-rested as well, like I had slept in the most comfortable bed ever made the previous night, not tossed fitfully in a cramped bunk.

"That's better," she said, satisfied. "Now you look more like a human, less like a ragamuffin."

"Now what happened to you?" Tifa prodded. "I thought you were staying on the Islands until you were eighteen."

"And why'd it look like you got into a fight?" Yuffie added indignantly.

"It's a long story…" I started.

"Who's this?" Cid questioned, motioning to the frail girl hiding behind me. Naminé peeked out around my shoulder, giving a shy wave.

"This is Naminé, my Nobody." I explained. Four pairs of shocked eyes looked back at me. I felt Naminé cower behind me. "Don't worry, she's not the bad kind," I quickly added. "I just wanted her to meet all of you first-hand. She's my best friend," I said proudly.

"Welcome, Naminé," Aerith greeted warmly. "You have a beautiful name."

"Thank you," Nami replied softly. "It's nice to meet all of you too."

"Kai-ri," Yuffie whined, yanking on my arm. "Explain why you got into a fight!"

"And why are you here?" Tifa asked. "Not that we're not happy to see you, but…"

"Is everything alright back home?" Aerith finished for her, eyes filled with concern.

"Well…let me start at the beginning."

* * *

I had told them everything, starting with my morning with Selphie and ending with walking into the base for the Restoration Committee.

"Wow," Yuffie breathed. "You've had a long day, haven't you?"

"Yeah," I answered. "I'm exhausted. I couldn't sleep last night. I feel so guilty for leaving, but I had to!"

I said wearily. "For myself. I know I must be a horrible person, but –"

"Nobody's blaming you, Kairi," Aerith replied soothingly. "You've been put in a really difficult situation. And nothing's wrong with wanting to make the right choice."

"And it's ok to feel bad about hurting one of your friends," Tifa added.

"Which you're probably going to do," Yuffie said.

"Yuffie!" both Aerith and Tifa exclaimed, glaring at her with I-can't-believe-you-just-said-that eyes.

"What?" Yuffie said innocently. "It's true!"

"I just feel so _defenseless!_" I yelled, rising to my feet. "I count on them to help me with everything – friends, fights, love, life – and I can't do anything by myself! _I_ want to feel capable for once in my life! They're amazing – don't' get me wrong, but _I_ want to feel like I can actually _do_ something!"

"Like, fight for yourself?" Yuffie asked.

"Yeah. Like fight for myself. Be respected because I'm strong." I shrugged. "I mean, look at you guys. People look up to you because you're capable of defending yourself – you can make _changes_. I'm just meek little Kairi who always needs to be saved."

"So you want to be strong?" Tifa asked. I nodded.

Both Yuffie's and Tifa's eyes lit up with excitement. I looked at Naminé, silently asking her if she knew what was going on. Her returning glance said that she didn't. Yuffie just grinned bigger.

"We can help with that."

* * *

"You're doing _what_?"

"We're leaving. And taking them with us," Tifa replied indifferently, gesturing to Naminé and me.

"To train them in battle?" Cloud asked incredulously.

"Yes. Among other things," Yuffie answered.

"And why are you doing this again?"

"Because it's what Kairi wants. And we think it's a good idea." Tifa retorted, looking her boyfriend in the eye.

"There's still a lot of stuff to fight out there, Cloud," Aerith said softly. "There are a lot of people who haven't been found yet too. Kairi needs to know how to protect herself from the Darkness – among other things."

"And why can't you do that here?" Cloud snarled.

"Because she'll be found," Tifa answered, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"And why is that such a bad thing?"

"Because she doesn't _want_ to be found, Cloud."

"Maybe Sora and Riku can help her."

"Maybe she doesn't need help."

"Maybe she just doesn't _think_ she needs help."

"Maybe she just needs us!"

"Maybe you're making a bad decision!"

"Maybe you're being pigheaded about this entire situation!"

"Maybe," Aerith interrupted the fighting couple, who were slowly growing closer and angrier with each remark, "you two should stop fighting because it's going to get us _nowhere._"

"Cloud," Leon spoke for the first time since the two came back from their rounds, "the idea has merit."

"How so?" Cloud asked his brunette counterpart.

"There _is_ a lot left to fight out there. Heartless numbers are still rampant." Cid nodded his head in agreement – he wasn't happy with his findings from his routine check on the Heartless numbers in Radiant Gardens earlier today. "And there's nothing wrong with Kairi wanting to learn how to fight. As she's heir to the throne of our kingdom, it's probably for the better that we have a strong ruler who is familiar with the plagues of the Darkness. Even better, it's good that we have a ruler that wants to _fight_ the dark, not _cause _it."

"I suppose," Cloud agreed. "Go on."

"However," Leon said, shifting his piercing gaze to me, "you need to realize what you've done to your friends. If they care about you as much as you say they do, then they'll be devastated at your leaving. Knowing them, they'll do everything they can to find you. They'll be angry, hurt, upset, antsy, impatient – not to mention they're teenage boys with raging hormones, which is just fuel to the fire at this point. You've given two of the most powerful people in all the worlds a big reason to be upset," he chastised, "and either of them are liable to snap. One's already been previously infatuated with the Darkness."

I could feel my heart dropping.

"Unless you're willing to go back – which I don't think you are – what's done is done. But you need to realize that if either of them suddenly lose it and snap, whatever happens is _your fault_."

"Leon!" Aerith scolded. He blew her off with a toss of his calloused hand.

"She needs to know that, Aerith – I'm not being mean; I'm being truthful."

"I accept that, Leon. I know what I've done."

"Good. Then go. I look forward to seeing the new-and-improved Kairi when she returns," he said, finally smiling. I grinned back.

"Thank you, Leon." I turned to leave with the others, Naminé nervously in tow.

"Hey kid?" Leon asked; I turned around. "I know how you feel. Sometimes I wish I had done what you're doing – I can't picture ever calling you 'Hanner.'"

"Thanks. That means a lot."

"Don't forget about those who care about you," he reminded sternly.

"Kairi, we have to _go!_" Yuffie said impatiently. "We only have so much time! Besides, we all know they're already trying to find you."

"But I have the Gummi," I replied.

"Like that'll stop them?" she asked me.

"I know."

"Good thing we're taking you somewhere they'll never look," she grinned.

"And where's that?"

"You'll see," Tifa smiled. "But we promise they'll _never_ find you."

* * *

**Any guesses as to where they're going?**

**Sorry it took so long to update! Hope you guys liked this! Don't worry – the boys won't be out of the picture for long. The next chapter's an update on them. **

**Once again, reviews make the world go 'round.**


	8. Chapter Seven: Different Paths

**As promised, here's the update on Sora and Riku! A double line indicates a POV switch.**

**Disclaimer**: Story mine. Game not.

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We had rushed to the island after talking to Selphie.

"_I haven't seen her – but I know you two must have really upset her today. She wasn't herself at all."_

"_Do you have any idea where she'd be?" Riku asked, although both of us already knew. _

"_No. Sorry. Is she alright?" The sky behind us crackled, sending torrents of feral electricity across the sky. _

_Selphie's eyes filled with concern for her missing best friend._

"_Yes, she's fine," I assured her. "We just need to talk to her."_

I looked over at Riku as we climbed out of our boats; his eyes were glazed in a cold, grey determination. I knew how strongly he felt for Kairi. But the fire that blazed inside me roared at the possibility that _he_ might get her in the end, and it pushed me harder and faster. I ran ahead of him on the beach, silently jealous of his deft limbs as I climbed the rocks to the shed clumsily. I reached the small plateau a good five yards before he did – he willingly let me take the lead. I roughly yanked the door open.

The shed appeared to be the same one we'd all grown up with – some pointless run-in that whose purpose nobody really understood. Still, the two of us stepped inside and shut the door, eyes careful to catch the details of the doorknob.

At first, I thought the worn silver was the reason I couldn't see the faded stamp. But Riku leaned closer, his steel eyes scanning the silver, and after a moment he announced, "The emblem's missing. She's gone."

I think both of us knew that. When Kairi didn't want to be found, she wasn't found. Even when we were younger, she was the queen of hide-and-seek. That's why we played partners games so much – if you lost her, she was absolutely gone.

I stared out at our little break-off island. Riku had run there, leaving me standing in the vacant shed. I watched as his silhouette leaned down through the drizzle to examine the sand; I already knew what he'd find: a set of messy footprints from where she'd run sloppily to the Gummi, one deeper than the others from where she'd pushed off the sand to climb into the ship, small craters left from the lift-off. She was gone. I didn't need physical proof; I could feel that. The air, thick with rain and heavy with storm, was empty. The distant waterfall splashed less noisily than usual, its halfhearted droplets merely trying to refill the empty voids it created.

Riku solemnly made his way back across the bridge, eyes meeting mine. "What do we do now?" I questioned, looking up to the sky, searching for some bit of light that might be my Kairi. I found none.

"I'm going to go find her."

"How? We have no ship." Although I knew that there was no way Riku and I should work together, considering that we were both striving for a position we could not share, it felt natural to work together. We were brothers of the deepest kind, bonded by our experiences. Even as I fought him, I wanted to help him.

"I don't need a ship to travel, Sora," he responded, hands clenching into fists by his sides. I saw his pupils widen, and part of me screamed in protest, longing to yell at him for being stupid and reckless and foolish. But the larger part of me – the man matured and wizened by what he had seen – agreed.

"You're not strong enough," I stated lamely.

"I'll have to deal with it."

"What if you get hurt?"

"There isn't any other option," he replied curtly, voice filled with the steely-grey determination that floated through his eyes.

"And if Maleficent finds you?"

"I fought the darkness once for Kairi. I'll do it again if I have to, and then as many times as she needs me to. I'm not afraid of the darkness." I remembered the last time he had spoken those words, and what it had brought. He closed his eyes and clenched his fists, and the pools of liquid darkness swirled around his feet. I took a step back, although I knew they would not touch me. Darkness was a path you chose, and it was not mine to take. That choice radiated from my body, pushing back the inky vine-like things that reached for my feet.

I couldn't help but ask him. "Are you sure?"

The darkness stretched up, covering his entire body. He did not flinch – he didn't even move. He was in complete control. But knowing his weakness, I had to wonder how long that control would last. He uttered one word before he left, vanishing into the void.

"Completely."

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I stood there, watching the unchanging sand that had shifted to envelop my best friend. One gone by sky, the other gone by darkness - how many people was I going to lose in one day?

Unthinking, I made my way to the Secret Place. I hadn't been here since I'd discovered the matching paopu drawings of Kairi and I, and I carefully averted my eyes from that wall, keeping focused on the door in front of me. As if it knew I would beckon, the keyhole appeared in front of me.

Was I selfish for dangling my world into peril, even if only for a moment, to create a connection so I could escape this place for _her_? The dutied soldier inside me balked, knowing that the situation was risky – it could infect the island all over again. Yet the different warrior inside of me fought for a different cause – he did not battle for glory or safety, but he fought for friendship, for love – _her_ love. It was he who walked on, brandished his mighty blade, and unlocked the heart of the Destiny Islands. It was he who heard the _whoosh_ of the lock that no longer held. It was he who lowered his mouth dangerously close to the darkness that now trickled from the opened hole to utter three words:

"Come get me."

And it was he who presented his sword once more, and locked the world again. With weary eyes and heavy heart, he relinquished control to Sora. Sora turned around, and half-mindedly swung at the ten or so Heartless that had appeared, causing them to fade into nothing.

And with the weight of a silent blade that had crashed through him, it was Sora who collapsed to the ground of the cavern, limbs awkwardly splayed, consciousness fleeting.

"Come get me." He hoped someone had heard him.

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**For all of you lovely reviewers who were so kind, I will update this chapter soon and pay you due thanks. But I'm leaving for vacation any minute now, and I wanted to get this posted.**

**The next chapter will be longer, I promise!**

**Vehe**


	9. Chapter Eight: Introductions

**Hello again!**

**Here's the next chapter. It's much longer than usual to make up for how short the last chapter was. I'm still planning on updating the last one with all of my thank-yous!**

**Zettai Eniguma – **I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far. And no, Sora didn't kill himself – he's gonna be ok! Thanks for reading!

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**Disclaimer**: Not mine, not mine…

* * *

"Where are you taking me?" I asked again. Although the first few thousand times I had posed that question had gotten me nowhere, it didn't hurt to try, did it?

Yuffie rolled her eyes. "Same answer as before: you'll see."

"Really, you should tell me. I'm not a patient person." Although the past day or so had been some of the most radically life-altering hours of my life, I felt at ease with the three older girls around me. Joking came naturally. And for the past hour or so we had been flying, I was focused on something different; instead of worrying about what I was leaving behind, I was looking forward to where I was going.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" questioned a silent Naminé, her light blue eyes filled with fear. Her face pulled the newly-found smile from my cheeks.

"I think so, Nami," I replied, reaching for her hand. "It's gonna be ok."

Her worried glare turned cynical. "You seem so sure, Miss I-Don't-Know-What's-Wrong-With-My-Life-But-I'm-Off-To-Fix-It-Anyway." Her tone lashed into me like a bullwhip; I could swear I had a gouge streaking across my face.

"Well," I stammered, not sure how to reply to _that_, "I think it's all going to work out for the better. Or, at least, I hope so."

"If I wanted to gamble with a perfectly stable lifestyle, I would have stayed with Luxord," she snipped.

"Nami, I'm sorry you're mad at me. But we've talked about all of this."

I saw Tifa glance at Aerith out of the corner of her eye, a silent question as to whether someone should intervene. That question was answered when Naminé did not speak, and the cabin fell into an awkward silence.

"So, Kairi…" Tifa started, "I hear you wield a Keyblade?"

"Yeah," I replied, trying to repress the memories of the times Riku and Sora had tried to teach me how to use it, often to no avail, "but I'm not really good with it."

Yuffie smirked. "We can fix that."

"Are you also interested in magic, Kairi?" Aerith asked, her melodious voice drifting quietly through the cabin.

"Um, I guess," I shrugged. I hadn't really given that much thought. After nearly beheading Riku during one of our "practices," I guess the boys were reluctant to try to teach me how to hit something from far-range with something that couldn't be blocked so easily as a blow with a sword. But that brought up a good question. I had seen Tifa fight, and I had heard how talented Yuffie was from Sora. But what did Aerith do? "Aerith," I asked, "what weapon do you use?"

She laughed. "I find that in battle I am most helpful when I heal those that fight. People have a tendency to worry so much about those they are protecting that they forget to protect themselves. That's where I come in; I help them regain their strength."

"If it wasn't for Aerith, Yuffie and I would be long gone by now," Tifa smiled.

"That's nonsense," the long-haired brunette blushed bashfully at the compliment.

"Yeah," Yuffie agreed, "Tifa would be a goner. I think I could hold my own though." Tifa met her statement with a swift punch to the upper arm.

"Shall I remind you about that one time we were fighting at Hollow Bastion –"

"Hey! That was completely your fault! I wouldn't have fallen into that pit if you had control over _your_ side!" Yuffie argued.

"Don't blame me for your awful balance!"

"I do not have –"

"Oh look!" Aerith piped up from the controls, "we're within landing range! Everyone strap themselves in – this might be a bit bumpy!"

If I was going to learn anything from Aerith, let her teach me how to end fights like that. Normally the boys didn't listen until I started throwing things.

Naminé glared at me once more as she fastened her seatbelt. Maybe Aerith could teach me how to fix those sorts of things, too.

* * *

We stood outside of pair of enormous wooden gates, surrounded by a thick, lush forest. The sharp smell of pine wafted through the air, biting at my nose with its sharpness. Tifa stood next to me, taking in her surroundings. It was comforting to have someone as unfamiliar with this world as I was. Yuffie and Aerith, however, looked almost at home as they ran their hands over the wood, searching for…well, I wasn't sure what they were searching for. And of course, Naminé pouted towards the back of our cluster.

Yuffie's face lit up. "Yes!" she cheered as her fingers found the correct knot in the wood, and the massive gates swung open in response. My jaw fell slack at the sight of the little town in front of me. It seemed to be early night – or was this world always this way? – and a dark glow painted the square and streets in front of me as if it were ten o'clock on a warm August night. A little shop across the square to the right emitted a cozy light, like a little café or bookstore. Up a set of another stairs directly across the square from me stood another two stores: the bottom sign bearing "Cid's" was faded, as if it had not been lit in several months, but the upper sign showing "The Moogle Shop" burned brightly.

I looked across the group at Tifa, who was as taken aback as I was at the quaint beauty of the world. "So this is Traverse Town," she mused thoughtfully. While Tifa didn't seem to be in quite as much gaping awe at the pretty little place before me, it was comforting to know that someone else was in unfamiliar territory too.

"Oh yeah," Yuffie voiced. "I forgot you've never been here, Teef."

"You'll like it," Aerith promised. "So will you, Kairi. And Naminé," she added, trying to thaw the Ice Queen, "you'll fit in perfectly. Welcome to our little family," she offered warmly. Nami offered a weak smile in response.

"There are three main divisions of Traverse Town," Yuffie explained, interrupting the warm moment. "They're called 'districts.' This is the First District," she waved her hand outward, spanning the courtyard in front of us. "The Second District can be found through the doors just past Gepetto's," she added, pointing past a shop I didn't see before. "And the Third District, which is where we'll be going, is just over here, through there," she said, pointing to another set of large wooden double doors. "That's where we'll be going."

"Will it be dangerous?" Naminé asked, frightened. She was already shrinking back behind me.

"The First District is the only truly 'safe' place here," Aerith answered. "There will be Heartless in the Second and Third Districts, but only minor ones."

"You'll be safe with us," Tifa assured my quivering counterpart.

"Roxas used to say that," the blonde murmured, sadness streaking back into her eyes. The wave of pain I had been fighting back all day threatened to crash upon me – I unconsciously wrapped my arms around myself to keep my heart safe. Aerith's hand on my shoulder brought me back.

"Come on, Kairi." I looked up – Yuffie had apparently already passed through the doors, and Tifa wasn't far behind. Reaching for Nami's hand, we followed suit, Aerith bringing up the rear.

* * *

The Third District was enormous. Large white-grey walls rose up around the main area, standing in stark contrast to the deep blue surroundings and ground. A lovely yellow fountain portraying two dogs was encased in glass in the northeast corner, adding to the immaculate surroundings; I took a few steps towards it. Inky black Heartless immediately sprung up around my ankles, slashing at my lower legs. "Agh!" I cried. I heard Naminé scream in the background.

"Heartless!" she gasped, cowering behind Aerith. She immediately began to shake.

"It's ok – they're just Shadows! Nothing big!" Tifa barked, slashing her hand through one of the many creatures that had appeared. She kicked through another two.

"Aerith, get them over to the door!" Yuffie ordered, throwing her shurkien through three of the Shadows.

"Come with me!" Aerith urged, grabbing both of our hands. I tried to aim a swift kick at one of our attackers; I brilliantly missed and wound up on my butt. A close-by Heartless slashed at my arm, leaving a painful scratch from my elbow to my wrist. "Stop fooling around!" Aerith scolded, quickly pulling me to my feet. She mumbled something under her breath, and my arm was quickly healed.

"Hey," I muttered as we ran. "I was gonna do that…" My arm tingled as the light green bubbles soothed the wound into nothing.

Aerith shook her head at me, and we ran our final steps to a mysterious door with a large flame carved into aged wood. "Firaga," she uttered, flaring her fingertips as a jet of flame set out to scorch the door; however, the flames merely leapt into the emblem, and the door opened. Aerith hurried us inside.

"You have to be more careful, Kairi," Aerith said into the darkness. She stepped forward into the black cavern.

"Wait!" Nami cried from beside me. "We can't see anything!"

"Give your eyes a moment to adjust to the lighting," Aerith promised, her voice close. "You'll see where we're going."

Sure enough, a small lopsided stone house appeared ahead of us on a small island. The conical roof with faded red shingles resembled a wizard's hat. Five or six stepping stones slid from side to side in the water in front of it, as if they were daunting whoever wanted to reach the house to prove their worth; the house only wanted visitors who were willing to work. The rest of the cavern bore a greenish glow, as if it were enchanted.

"This is Merlin's home," Aerith explained to Naminé and me. "He'll be helping us train you."

"He's a nice guy. Very wise," Tifa quipped from behind us. I jumped; I didn't hear her or Yuffie slip through the door. "Nice kick back there, Kairi. What was that? If you're not more careful, you'll end up like Yuf here."

"A great warrior?" Yuffie beamed cockily.

"No. A stupid girl who rushes into things," Tifa responded. Yuffie stuck her tongue out at the older girl.

"Are we going to go see Merlin or not?" Aerith asked, once again breaking up the squabble. Both fighters nodded, neither scratched from the recent fray, and began jumping nimbly from stone to stone.

"After you," Aerith smiled.

"I don't think that's such a good idea. I'm not very coordinated," Naminé shrugged.

"C'mon," I said, grabbing her hand. I pulled her across the rocks with me, although we almost fell twice. When we reached the opposite platform leading to the enchanted hut, Yuffie walked around to the right of the building, motioning for us to follow.

"Follow me," she said, pushing through an opening in the wall closed with a purple velvet curtain. We were ushered to the great room of the house. A circular stone platform stood in the center of the circular room, housing a table and chairs. The rest of the room was swamped with books and miscellaneous furniture, including a pristine silver miniature carriage, which seemed out of place with the commonplace surroundings. A fire crackled in the hearth, giving the cottage a warm glow.

"I'm glad you're here," a voice twinkled behind us. "I was beginning to wonder if I should start looking for you." I turned and looked at the speaking man. He was tall, dressed in light blue wizard's robes with a matching pointy hat that mirrored the design of his house. His white hair was brushed away from his face and fell to his shoulders, but he had a matching silver beard that fell almost to the floor. His worn half-moon spectacles glimmered in the warm light of the cottage, resting on his crooked nose. Behind the glasses, a pair of steel-grey eyes danced in the same way as his merry voice.

"You must be Kairi," he nodded, clasping one of my hands in his. "I am Merlin." He bowed in a sweeping, elegant gesture. "It is so nice to meet the final Princess of Heart. And you," he said, turning to Naminé, "must be the sister that never truly was. It is so nice to meet you, my dear Naminé. You are every bit as beautiful as your other half."

"Thank you," she murmured softly.

"What is it that you come to me seeking, young Kairi?" the wizard asked.

"She wants to be trained," Yuffie piped up cheerfully – she was obviously familiar with Merlin.

"Ah," he mused. "Trained in what art, specifically?"

"I – I, I want to be trained in physical combat and magic," I stammered, looking down. Suddenly I felt foolish.

"Ah," he mused again. "So you come to me seeking the knowledge to fight. What, my dear, are you fighting?"

I could not answer him.

"Hmm. Perhaps you will discover your purpose in your training, young one." His eyes danced with wisdom. "Nevertheless, I agree to train you in magic. Physical combat is not my forte; however, I'm sure these girls are more than happy to assist you in that theater." He nodded to Aerith, Yuffie, and Tifa, all of whom nodded in response. "We shall use my attic as a training room. I have plenty of furniture you can demolish." His cracked lips curved upward into a smile, and I couldn't help but feel at ease. He waved his hand and a ceiling tile descended to where he could step on it, which he did. It automatically rose, and the man disappeared.

"Don't worry about him, Kai," Yuffie assured me as a now-vacant ceiling tile descended again.. "Sometimes Merlin asks questions you're not supposed to know the answers to yet." She and Tifa stepped on, and they rose and disappeared as well.

"I know you're confused," Aerith spoke. "This is all going to be new to you. But you're doing the right thing," she promised. "Follow your heart – it's the most important thing that Merlin has taught me." Her deep eyes took a sorrowful tint as she stepped onto the platform and vanished as well.

"I can't say I agree with her," Naminé said, her blue eyes boring into mine. "I think we should go back. This is stupid. Why learn to fight when you have people to protect you?"

"What if they're not there?" I posed. She shivered in fright at my words, and I knew she was thinking of a world without Roxas. I immediately pulled her into a hug. "I'm sorry – I didn't mean for it to come out like that."

"Save it," she said, pulling away from my touch and stepping on the ceiling tile; I followed.

She turned her icy eyes upon me. "You just better hope that you know what you're doing to the people around you."

* * *

Merlin's attic was extremely spacious in comparison to the cluttered great room below. An open circular hardwood floor laid in expanse and reddish walls rose from it to line the room. Much furniture was pushed up against the walls to create the open floor – and was some of it moving? The ceiling rose above us in a cone, flopping in one place to create the top of the wizard's hat; several windows in it allowed the sky to poke through.

"Welcome to my attic," Merlin spoke simply, waving his hand before him.

"This place is huge," I whispered. "It didn't look this big from the outside."

"If you learn one thing from this room, learn not to be deceived by appearances," the wizard warned me. I nodded my head back.

"How do you want to start, Kairi?" Yuffie asked, turning to me. "Magic or fighting?"

"Um," I hesitated, cocking my head to the side and running a hand through my hair, "can we try fighting?"

"Sure!" she replied enthusiastically, jumping in the air. "Follow me," she ordered, striding to the middle of the room. I followed her.

"Are you going, Naminé?" Tifa asked.

"No," my Nobody replied softly. "I'm not interested in learning how to fight." She sat in one of the many chairs in the room.

"Very well," Merlin shrugged. "Yuffie, Tifa, I will sit with Aerith and Naminé until I am needed." The two girls bobbed their heads in respect, and then Tifa joined us in the center of the room.

"Ok, Kairi," Tifa started. "Summon your Keyblade." I reached my hand to the side, clenching my fist; I felt the handle of my Keyblade in my grasp, a familiar spot worn from where I'd held it. I smiled – so far, so good.

"Good!" Yuffie clapped. "Sometimes that's the hardest part – but it's definitely one of the most important. How can you fight without a weapon?" She smirked at Tifa. "Oh, sorry. You don't count."

Tifa rolled her eyes. She nodded to Merlin, who waved his hand. Three dishes floated their way to us and hung suspended in mid-air.

"Ok," Yuffie said. "We'll start with stationary objects." She waved one plate farther away from the other two. "I want you to strike this plate and break it. Go." I placed my other hand on the handle, raised the blade so it was above my head, and slashed downward with all my might. The plate shattered and then disappeared as the broken shards hit the floor.

I smiled. "Was that good?" I asked.

Tifa and Yuffie exchanged a glance. "Well, yeah," Tifa finally said, "but you don't need to swing at something like that with all of your might."

"It'll wear you out," Yuffie added.

"Minor enemies don't really take all that much to defeat," Tifa continued. "Breaking these plates is about as difficult as killing those Shadows. You attacked it like it was some huge monster." She saw my face fall; I thought I had done well. "I mean, that's fine if you're _fighting_ a monster," she quickly added, "but for something as little as these guys, you don't need to go all out." I nodded; I guess that made sense.

"Also, the overhead chop isn't really a great move unless you're fighting a single enemy or something small," Yuffie added. "When you lift your arms over your head, you leave yourself completely open to attack in all the vital spots of your body. Yes, you get more strength with both of your hands, but you can't hit something when something hits you first." I nodded again; was Naminé laughing in the background?

"Here, try again," Tifa urged. "But this time, try hitting it as if you were swinging with a baseball bat. It's not the best move, but it's a good place to start." She moved forward another plate, and I swung at this one. I slashed clean through it, but the momentum from my arms sent my body twisting; I couldn't stop the motion, and I wound up on my butt. Looking up through my hair, I saw the two of them laughing.

"Well, that was…better, I guess." Tifa offered.

I huffed, trying to blow my hair out of my eyes; it didn't work. This was going to be harder than I thought.

* * *

Queen Minnie was cleaning when she heard the voice.

"Come get me," it pleaded with aching familiarity; she could hear the heartbreak in the broken tenor.

"What?" she whispered, turning around to look at the Cornerstone. Had it spoken, or was she hearing things?

"Come get me," the mighty stone echoed, replaying the message that emitted from it.

"Sora?" she asked, stepping towards it. She squinted into the iridescent light swirling within the confines of the great rock. She could make out the figure of a boy, slashing a blade that was identical to her husband's through a pack of Shadows. She smiled at his apparent safety when he defeated the creatures, but then he fell to his knees, and then toppled forward, spiky hair and limbs splaying in all directions. The Queen gasped.

"Mickey! Mickey!" she wailed, lifting her heavy skirts and sprinting up the stairway. "Mickey, come quick!"

* * *

"C'mon, Kairi, one more time. Remember to pull your stomach in to keep your balance."

"Slash with only as much strength as you need to break the dish; it's a good battle technique that'll prevent you from wearing out too quickly," Yuffie added.

Keeping only my right hand on the Key, I pulled my weapon from my upper left to my lower right, slashing through the plate. My left arm remained at my side as a sort-of shield. The plate shattered once more, dissolving into nothing.

"Good!" Yuffie cheered. "There! That's the slash we've been looking for!"

"You need to work on your footwork," Tifa observed. "You can pivot with one foot to effectively transfer your energy, making your blows stronger…ah, well, that can wait until tomorrow."

Merlin stepped forward. "I assume it is my turn?" Tifa and Yuffie ducked their heads in deference to him, and he nodded. They walked back towards Aerith and Naminé.

"Kairi, what spells do you know?" Merlin asked me.

"Um, I do Cure pretty well. I _know_ Fire –"

"But you have yet to master it?" he finished for me. I nodded in reply. "Defensive spells are incredibly important, but you cannot win a battle with them. We shall start with Fire, then." He waved over a single plate. "I want you to destroy this using flames."

I raised my hands in front of me, facing my palms towards the dish. "Fire!" I yelled. Flames burst from my hand, some torching the plate and others singeing Merlin's long beard. He jumped back with a yelp and immediately cast Blizzard, then he healed himself. The plate fell unbroken but burnt in some places.

"You must focus on your target, Kairi. You were distracted," he explained calmly. I guess he had been burned a lot before.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled.

"Do you do it like this?" A quiet voice asked from behind me. Naminé stepped forward, raised her hands, and said, "Fire!" Flames burst from her delicate fingertips, and the plate before her shattered. She lowered her arms with a satisfied smile.

"Good!" Merlin clapped. "Well done, Naminé!" I turned to glare at her; how was she better at this than me?

"I don't want to learn to fight, but I think magic is important," she said. "Do you mind if I learn with Kairi?"

She was ushered into the lesson quickly. We spent the rest of the day trying to break plates with Fire; she was much better at it than I was. She dissipated almost all of her dishes on the first try; I managed to set Merlin on fire three times, twice his beard, once his robe. Finally, I was able to break three plates in a row, and Merlin decided to end with that.

"Good! We will work again tomorrow. Kairi, you must focus on your targets; it will be easier then," he promised as we rode the ceiling tile to the great room.

We thanked him for the lesson, and then the five of us left the cavern by the same way we came. Aerith and Yuffie quickly ushered us to the Second District, where they promised they knew of a place where we could stay. I was too tired to bother even trying to fight the Shadows that appeared. Instead, I just ran. Naminé, however, managed to destroy one or two using her new spell.

We were finally shown what seemed to be a hotel room. The interior color was blue, and there was a large bed. Aerith left for the first district to find us food, and I collapsed onto the bed.

We ate dinner quickly, most of us too tired to make conversation. Quick goodnights were bade, and the five of us retired to our two rooms. I lay in bed next to Naminé for a while, hoping to fall asleep.

Beside me, muffled in her pillow, she cried heartbroken sobs. The waves of pain I had fought all day toppled over me at last, and I allowed them to drag me into a fitful sleep in which I did not rest.

**

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**Whew! Over four thousand words! And plenty more to go!**

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**The countdown begins to Chapter Ten…there will be violence. Lots of violence. It's a pivotal chapter to rival all others!**

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**Vehe**


	10. Chapter Nine: Continuities

**Hey again! **

**This chapter's a touch short, but it's a build up to the next chapter, which is the BIG ONE!**

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"Again, Kairi!" Yuffie ordered, sending forth another large dresser for me to attack.

"Do the combo again!" Tifa added. I obeyed, lunging forward and slicing to the left, rotating my shoulder to bring my arm back for a horizontal slash, and then stepping forward again for an overhead blow. The wooden furniture splintered beneath my force in the same way a termite-infested house collapses when someone slams the door too hard. I brought my key back to shield my body – we were also working on not "leaving myself open."

"Good," Yuffie complimented me. "It's getting stronger each time."

"Again," Tifa commanded. Apparently, she wasn't satisfied. _How the hell does Merlin have so much furniture?_ I wondered, repeating the attacks and slashing through yet another dresser.

Across the room, Aerith was helping Naminé with her magic – more specifically, Cura.

"The secret behind effective magic is your focus. You have to be able to _feel_ yourself in your spells – that's how you get the good ones," Aerith grinned to the blonde. "With the Cure spells, I've found it helps to focus on someone you want to protect at all costs – for you, maybe you should try thinking about Kairi, or another one of your friends," she smiled warmly. "When the spell is performed correctly, it'll heal you significantly. Sometimes, you can even heal multiple people, but in smaller amounts," she finished. Naminé nodded.

"Ok," Aerith continued. "I'm going to call over a group of plates that will 'attack' you," she explained, laughing at the thought of an army of dinner dishes – the two knew the plates could do no harm. "Try to fend them off a little bit, then cure yourself. Simple enough?" Nami nodded again. Aerith motioned, and at least ten eggshell-colored plates floated over, circling Naminé. "Begin!" the oldest girl said, and the dinnerware began to swoop and dive for my Nobody, who ducked to dodge them.

"Cura!" she cried meekly; a few small greenish orbs appeared around her – nothing impressive. Aerith waved her hands once more, and the plates stopped.

"That was a good start," Aerith commented, never one to be negative. "But this time, why don't you try focusing more on someone important? Your heart wasn't in that spell. Let's try again." She motioned for the plates to attack once more.

And although I was focused on my umpteenth dresser, slashing and twirling and stabbing, for a moment, my Nobody's mind and mine connected. As the plates swirled around to attack her, she shut her eyes in focus. She pictured his face, his sparkling blue eyes, his kind smile, his warm voice – he was before her, slashing through Heartless, and one had wounded him. I felt her heartbeat shake when she saw him bleed, and she cried out with all her might: "Cura!"

The magic that emitted from her was almost tangible – it wrapped itself around her in a frothy green sheath, engulfing her in her own might. Green bubbles shimmered as they settled into her body, and her complete restoration of her health was manifested in her sudden radiance. A similar entity, perhaps a touch less potent, healed Aerith, swirling around her body like a flurry of dancing snowflakes. One or two light green bubbles even reached Merlin.

"Magnificent!" the sage cried out, applauding with his leathery hands. "That was brilliant, my dear!"

Aerith beamed at her student. "That's what I was talking about! Good job, Nami!"

Naminé's eyes did not leave the scene she had painted in front of her in her artistic mind – Roxas still battled the beasts alone. When Aerith reached out to clasp her hand, Naminé's fingers lay limp in her hand.

"Nami?" Aerith asked, concerned. The Nobody remained motionless. A few rogue tears spilled out of her eyes and snuck down her cheeks in silvery trails – their motion brought the blonde back into the world of the alert. She gingerly felt her face, and finding tears, she looked up, horrified.

"I'm sorry," Naminé whispered, looking like a ghost. "I think I'm done for today." With that, she rushed out of the room, disappearing into the floorboards via the transport tile.

"What was that about?" Yuffie asked me; I merely shook my head.

"She's touchy," I replied. "I think she scared herself." Well, that was true in a way, I guess.

"Huh," Yuffie said, staring after the girl. She shook her head. "Maybe you could put that much focus into your attacks. They'd be ten times as strong," she joked.

Why did Naminé have to be so difficult?

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**Destiny Islands**

"So you're sure you don't have any idea where she is?" I asked her parents for the millionth time. Got the same answer: they both looked at each other, smiled wistfully, and shook their heads.

Yup. They knew something. They just weren't saying anything.

"I'm sorry, dear," Mrs. Hanner replied once again. "But we really have no clue." I was tempted to sneeze. _Achooo! Oh, excuse me. I'm allergic to bullshit._

"Well, thank you anyway," I ceded, standing to leave. "Mrs. Hanner?" I asked, turning around from the door.

"Yes, Sora?" It didn't matter if they weren't biologically related – Kairi and her mother had the same shade of perfect blue eyes. Seeing them made my heart break.

"Kai – Kairi knew that, that…" I fumbled. Taking a deep breath, I continued. "Kairi knew I was crazy about her, didn't she?"

It looked like I had just ripped the woman's heart out. Ah, well – misery loves company.

"She did, dear," the woman whispered. "She was crazy about you too."

I smiled, turned, and left. That was all I needed to hear.

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**Somewhere in the Multiverse…**

"Gawrsh, Donald, do ya think he's ok?" the large black dog questioned his companion.

"I don't know," the duck replied, shaking out his feathers from where he sat at the controls. "But he asked for our help, so we're comin' to get him!"

The big dog _hyucked_ in rolling laughter. "Cuz that's what friends are for, right Donald?"

"Absowootly," the bird replied.

"Whattaya think it's about?"

"I don't know," his companion mused, slightly adjusting the controls. "But I think we have a pretty good idea."

"Shouldn't they be, ya know, all twitterpated by now?"

"Boy, I hope so."

"But if they are, why would he ask for help?"

"Maybe her birthday's coming up! And he needs to buy her a present!"

The dog smacked his wing to his forehead. "No, you big dummy, he's in trouble. He wouldn't ask our help for a present."

The dog's face fell. "Oh. Well, I hope he's alright!"

"Me too, Goofy."

The control panel flashed. "Approaching Destiny Islands," a mechanical voice said.

The duck looked to the dog, years of friendship in their eyes. "Well, whatever Sora needs, we're about to find out."

The dog smiled a toothy grin. "So, uh, do you remember how to land this thingy?"

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**Naminé and Kairi's Room**

"Nami, can I come in?" I yelled through the door to the closet. She had been sobbing in there for at least an hour, and I had had enough.

"No," the muffled reply came angrily.

I pounded my fists on the door. Glancing down at my newly-defined tricep muscle, I deemed that I was probably strong enough to break it, but I didn't want to risk hurting her. "Nami, you're not being fair! I have no idea what happened, and you're acting as if I did something wrong!"

"You should know!

"And _how_ exactly should I know?"

"You just _should_!"

I growled in frustration. "That makes no sense!" She continued to cry, and I tried to worm my way back into her – our – mind. But that door was triple-locked and had a big ole dresser shoved up against the opposite side. She had even tacked on a sign reading "Screw you, Kairi" for good measure.

Breaking the door down suddenly didn't seem like such a bad idea.

"Naminé!" I roared, losing my patience. "I'm sorry that you saw Roxas," she let out a heartbreaking sob when I spoke his name, "today in training, but _you_ were the one who chose to focus on him!"

The door flung open, resonating against the wall with a loud _bang!_ Her eyes almost matched Riku's – cold and steely in their intensity. If she wasn't exactly my height, I might have been intimidated.

"And who else was I supposed to focus on?" she spat.

"I don't know," I replied curtly. "But that was your choice."

"You're just mad because I focused on protecting him and not you."

Oh, so now _I _was the bad guy? "I couldn't really care less about who you 'protect.' There was nothing to be protected _from_," I glared at her. "Besides, you should focus on what's important. You can't keep clinging to Roxas. He's not here."

"I don't care! I want to be with him!" she cried desperately.

"That's not a choice you're at liberty to make, Naminé!" I yelled back. "Get with what's going on! You're going to be nothing but a distraction if you can't grasp the fact that you're not going to be with him for a while!"

"But why?" Her eyes turned a new shade of angry. "Why do you get to decide? I don't care if you want to be away from Sora – I want to be with Roxas!"

"Because I'm the Somebody and you're the Nobody!"

"We're two halves to a whole!" she screeched.

"I'M THE HALF THAT COUNTS!" I bellowed, slamming the door in her face. She started to sob harder, and I heard her back slide down against the wall, but I didn't care. She was part of _me,_ not the other way around. I was the one with the body, with the life. And I felt bad that I had to drag her along into everything, but that wasn't in my control. It's not like I was taking him away from her forever – she'd see him soon, and she knew that. So why was she acting like such a five year-old?

I flopped down on the bed, exhausted.

Why was life so difficult?

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**The Castle That Never Was**

Familiarity – that was what I longed for. So when I wound up here, I was content – well, as content as I could be at the moment, I guess – because I'd been here before. As if it had known I was coming, a black cloak lay on the pristine floor to my right. Sighing, I reached down and grabbed it.

I hated this thing.

I slipped it on and reached in the pocket – yup, there was a black eye band in there. Hah. This castle had a funny way of knowing what you needed. I wondered if I looked around long enough, I'd find her.

I heard footsteps behind me – seriously? Did this place know me that well? After all, I was a Someone. Could it really read me like it read them? Did these perfect white walls understand those with hearts, too?

"Kairi?" I called into the void behind me, slipping the dark fabric over my eyes. She didn't need to see me like this.

More footsteps sounded; I whirled around. A figure dressed in a similar black cloak stood behind me. The hood covered the person's hair, but I could see a shining pair of familiar bright blue eyes. As the stranger reached his hand to his side, an unfamiliar - feminine - voice answered me.

"Not quite."

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**If five people click the button below, the big chapter goes up tonight!**

**Vehe**


	11. Chapter Ten: Decisions, part One

**Ok you guys! **

**You wonderful readers gave me the amount of reviews I asked for, and then you gave me more. And I went bad on my promise. I'm sorry – my boyfriend and I decided to end our relationship of two years the next day, so I was very preoccupied. The next week we were on vacation, and I didn't have internet access.**

**And then school started. And there went my free time.**

**So, to make it up to you guys, this chapter will be even longer than intended. Also, the next few chapters in succession will be posted in a more timely fashion.**

**Once again, I'm so, so, so sorry that I didn't keep to my word. I hope you all forgive me.**

**Electron Beam – **Thank you so much! It means a lot to me that you think my plot is worthy of reading haha. And yes, I agree, Kairi is very scary when she's mad. But aren't we all? Let me know what you think of this next chapter.

**Vergil Theart – **Haha you made an accurate statement about Sora, but it doesn't happen just yet! And I'm keeping your vote in mind! Thanks for reading!

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**Blood Seraph – **You are a very good guesser when it comes to Riku. And I'm sorry this took so long – life was crazy. And I agree, Kairi was rather mean, but it works out nicely for this next part. Enjoy!

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**Satan966 – **I completely know what you mean – my life got crazy all of a sudden too! Enjoy this next part!

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE – **__This next chapter contains some very, very graphic parts and some violence. Readers beware._

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

* * *

Naminé and I still weren't talking. She had slept in the closet for the night, and when I finally managed to fall asleep, she was still sobbing. When Aerith had brought us breakfast this morning, she slunk out of her hideaway, her normally-pristine eyes clouded and bloodshot. If Aerith had questions, she did not ask them, and she left us to eat in silence.

We dressed without conversing, and we joined the other three to walk to Merlin's. I felt bad about what had transpired the night before, but now I believed that Nami was just being more stubborn than necessary. Did she not hear me cry myself to sleep, too? Did she not feel me shudder every time Sora or Riku pushed past the boundary I had drawn in my mind that forbade them from my thoughts? Did she not feel my heart stop when I pictured them warring on that stormy beach, fighting for the girl that ended up running away?

Yes, she knew all of this. And she knew that every time she brought up how I'd "abandoned" our life it was like a fresh crack of the whip to my already bloodied back.

"What do you think Kairi?" Yuffie asked me, pulling me from my growing anger. Her eyes were practically hopping up and down with her apparent energy, and her smile was as wide as Sora's – I internally cringed at that comparison.

"About what?" I asked.

"You weren't listening, were you?" Tifa chided. "We all agree – you're ready for your first battle. Today, you're gonna get to fight some real Heartless." She gave me one of her rare smiles – my heart soared and my stomach dropped at the same time.

"Of course, you don't have to if you don't feel you're prepared, Kairi," Aerith assured me.

"No," I shook my head. "No. I'm ready." I took a deep breath. "I can do this."

"Of course you can!" Yuffie cheered, jumping in the air. "Aren't you excited?" she bubbled.

"Erm, yeah," I nodded, trying to share her almost-tangible enthusiasm. At this point, I was really to exhausted to feel anything – I wasn't sure if that was good for battle or not.

We walked into Merlin's house. The grandfatherly sage was gathering miscellaneous items and placing them in his large, black handbag. Among the objects were vials of crystal-like forest green potions, each differing in size. Merlin handled each as if it were terribly important.

"What are those?" I questioned, curious.

"These," he said, holding up a medium sized bottle, "are health potions. There are many different kinds, but they each do something to revive you, whether it be your stamina, your ability to cast magic, or both." He winked at me, his wise eyes dancing. "And they taste rather nice, if I do say so myself."

Yuffie grabbed a smaller bottle out of Merlin's bag. "Here, try one," she offered. "You should be completely healed before you head into battle. And you should get used to the taste beforehand. Sometimes it can give you a little bit of a rush." I gingerly took the vial and uncorked it with a loud pop. I rolled my wrist, causing the liquid inside to slosh and stir; the aroma was inviting, but my stomach flipped anyways. Slowly, I raised the glass to my lips, allowing the liquid to slide into my mouth. I was bombarded with the taste of sugar, like someone had forced me to eat a whole balloon of cotton candy in one bite. As I swallowed, the liquid swirled through my body, and I felt its effect; it was like I was being hit with a thousand tiny Cure spells that shimmered over my skin. The tingling stopped, and I lowered the empty potion bottle.

"Well?" Yuffie prodded.

"I feel…better," I finally said, searching for the right word.

"You look better," Tifa stated calmly. I laughed.

"It's a little weird at first, but you get used to it. They're lifesavers in battle," Yuffie assured me, giggling. "No pun intented." Merlin passed her three similar small vials, which she handed to me. "These are for you."

"Where do I put them?" I asked. I didn't have any pockets, and they were too big to put in my shoes.

Yuffie smacked a calloused hand to her forehead. "Oh, that's right, you don't have official fighting garb. Ugh…ah, well. We'll just hold on to them and heal you if necessary. Between Aerith and Merlin's magic, Tifa and I's fighting, and all these potions, you should be set."

"But we really should get you some new clothing," Tifa said sternly. "We won't always be around to protect you." I nodded in compliance.

"Are we ready?" Merlin asked, looking up from his packing. _Geez!_ I thought, eyeing the fifty some-odd bottles that were stashed in the bag. _How many hits does he think I'm gonna take? Or am I just that bad at fighting?_ I wasn't sure whether to be honored that I was so well-protected and cherished or offended that they thought I would need an infinite amount of magical medicine. He cleared his throat, pulling my attention back to his question and not his bag. I nodded.

We walked out of the house in a single-file line, like soldiers marching to battle. Merlin led, brandishing his staff and carrying his ominous black bag. Yuffie bounced along next, excited for the impending confrontation. Tifa proceeded after Yuffie, her face set in solemn preparation; she'd seen this before. I was in the middle, trying not to stumble on the slippery stones – should I be excited or nervous? Was I ready? Naminé followed me – she was still being belligerent and we weren't talking. Her delicate arms were folded across her small chest, and she mirrored a defiant child. Aerith brought up the rear, gracefully keeping pace with a serene, reassuring smile.

We crossed through the beaten wooden door that separated us from the rest of Traverse Town, stepping into the Third District. The open area before us lay undisturbed, its only sound the quiet murmur of the fountain. The six of us fell into our usual pattern of sneaking along the wall – Heartless didn't sense you that way. However, once we reached the middle of the wall, Merlin stopped. "Go forward, Kairi. Into the middle," he beckoned with his staff. "Your time has begun."

I nodded, taking a deep breath. Aerith laid a quiet hand on my shoulder, her touch a silent token of her faith in me. _I can do this_, I whispered in my mind, stretching my Keyblade hand, feeling each muscle in my individual fingers clamp and relax. I tightened them all around an imaginary handle; sure enough, my weapon appeared at my side. One last deep breath, and I stepped forward. Nothing. I stepped forward again. Still nothing. Another last deep breath – for real this time - and I walked to the center of the district.

They appeared out of nowhere, like a bad dream or lightning. I was surrounded by fifteen or so creatures of the blackest kind, and once they materialized, they began to swing fiercely. I couldn't register what they looked like or who they were before they attacked.

Defensively, I brought my key up to shield my body, parrying the swipe of one zealous Shadow. It stumbled backwards, and I quickly slashed through it while it remained open; the being dissipated into a black void. Just as I pumped a victory fist into the air, I was attacked from behind, and I stumbled forward to my hands and knees.

"Keep yourself up, Kairi!" I heard Yuffie call from the wall. Another Shadow lunged at me, and I rolled to the right to avoid the attack. Quickly, I scrambled to my feet in time for two Shadows to begin a joint attack. Once again, I raised my key before my body to block the blow; one Shadow rebounded off the blade, and I swung my weapon so the second one would be killed. It worked. Bringing my Keyblade back from my right side for an upper slash, I stepped forward and with both hands, pulled my key up and across my body to the left. The third Shadow was slain.

"Kairi, behind you!" I heard Aerith warn me. I turned around, and five Shadows stood before me, surrounding a larger Heartless who looked like an obese man. I'd never seen a Heartless so huge! _That's a Large Body, right?_ I mused to myself as I pulled the blade through two of the minions. I stepped back as I raised the key above my head, to counter the action leaving my body open, and swung down at the large Heartless' belly with all of my might. My key merely bounced off, and he swiped at me with his short arms, connecting with my torso. I heard someone from the sidelines gasp, and then Merlin's stoic voice reassured the worried.

"Find an opening, Kairi," Tifa's calm voice coached me. I retreated to regroup, slashing through another Shadow that tried to follow me. The Large Body didn't seem to be open to attack from the front…

"Kairi, look out!" Aerith's voice came again. My eyes focused on the battle in time to see the large opponent charging me. Quickly, I threw my body to the side, rolling out of the line of fire and regaining my footing once more. My heart trembled for a moment as I remembered how Sora used to do that to avoid Riku, but I didn't have time to be nostalgic. The Large Body heaved in the corner, facing away from me…that was it!

I ran forward, brandishing my Keyblade, and launched a combo on the Heartless' open flank. I smiled in satisfaction as I felt my blows take, and after three combos, the being disappeared. I quickly countered to slash through a Shadow using my remaining momentum.

Turning to my right, I saw three or four Soldier Heartless approaching, their purple and silver armor gleaming in the district's light. Chest heaving from my running around, I quickly pointed my key in their direction: "Fire!" I yelled, and a jet of flame exploded one Heartless. Three more incantations of the spell, and only one Heartless remain. I ran forward at the Soldier, and slashed through him with the last of my energy. The last enemy vanished, and I stood alone in the center of the District. Smiling, I turned to look at my cheering friends.

"YOU DID IT!" Yuffie hollered, running at me and throwing her arms around me in an embrace that was more tackle than hug.

"You did really well, Kairi," Tifa complimented, a genuine smile lighting up her face. She too pulled me into a quick hug.

"Congratulations!" Aerith beamed, clasping both of my hands.

"You did an excellent job of refining your magic," Merlin smiled. "That was marvelous." I looked over the sage's shoulder to see my Nobody stalking off in the direction of the Second District. She was still angry. _Whatever_, I thought, refusing to let her taint my victory. _Let her sulk._

"However," Merlin began, recapturing my attention, "you didn't vary your magic at all. A Thunder spell would have quickly diminished such a large group of energy, and you didn't even bother to try to heal yourself." He looked serious, and I hung my head.

"Don't worry, Kai," Yuffie assured me. "You just need some more practice, that's all."

My head snapped up. "Do you think we could practice now?" I asked. "I feel strong enough."

"Are you sure?" Merlin questioned. "You put forth quite a bit of energy in that last battle, and it's perfectly acceptable to –"

"No, I'm fine, really!" I nodded vigorously. I knew he was expecting more magic in my first test, and I didn't want to let him down – not after he'd trained me so well. And in all fairness, I had so much adrenaline going that I could have probably fought for another three hours.

"Alright, then," Merlin agreed. "More practice it is."

* * *

"And again, Kairi," the sage coached, sending another maelstrom of dinner plates flying my way.

"Thunder!" I cried, holding my Keyblade skyward. For the fifth time, yellow bolts of pure electricity angrily struck down the dinnerware, sending porcelain flying throughout the room. I quickly held up my blade to deflect a rogue piece of flying plate – I already had a scratch on my cheek from where I had failed to protect myself.

"Good!" Merlin mused. He waved his staff again, and three dressers, two chairs, and a slew of dinner plates accosted. I held my weapon before me, readying...for a split second, the swirling plates seemed to melt together, and I was disoriented by the flying white.

"Kairi!" Merlin called to me too late – a chair connected with the back of my leg. I stumbled forwards, but caught my balance; turning, I slashed through the annoying furniture. "Fire!" I cried once I had taken care of my first attacker. "Fire! Fire! Fire!"

"Vary your spells!" Merlin bellowed as I struggled for breath – suddenly, I was exhausted.

"Thunder!" I voiced, over and over. The enchanted furniture still swirled around me, and none of my spells seemed to connect with any of the targets. Angrily, I swiped left and right with the Key, keeping the area around me clear as the plates spun higher and faster…

Strong arms embraced me from behind, pinning my arms to my sides . "Kairi," Merlin said as I struggled against his grip, "there are no plates left. You got rid of the furniture. What are you doing?"

"There…are…more…flying…" I puffed. "Around…us…"

"Kairi, are you alright? The room is empty except for you and me." His moonlight-silver eyes pooled with concern.

"I'm fine," I panted. "Let's keep going." We had only been practicing for thirty minutes – there was no reason that I should be this tired.

"Perhaps you should take a short respite," the wizard suggested, eyeing my labored breathing. "It's been a very long day for you, young Princess."

"No," I countered stubbornly. "We've practiced for much longer before. After ten days of training, I'd hope that my stamina would be more satisfactory."

"Fighting a battle all alone and then training afterwards is very strenuous," he argued back. "You seem to be having trouble breathing as well. I suggest we end this session before you hurt yourself." His steely eyes glinted with wisdom – I knew he was merely looking out for me, but this was unacceptable. Besides, I had enough rage in me to fuel ten more hours of practice. My body just needed to catch up to my mind.

"Thank you for your concern," I said, "but really, I'm fine." As soon as I said that, the world tilted, and I almost reached out to the old man for balance. Yet the stubborn side of me prevailed, and I refused to quit now. "May we please keep going?"

His misty eyes searched me, looking for any reason to refuse me. But my will was stronger than my pain – I was determined. "Alright," he ceded, sighing. "If you wish, Princess."

I smiled, a new burst of energy surging through me. "Can we start again with the thunder-fire combinations?"

* * *

That "new burst of energy" lasted about five minutes. Every simple blow felt like it required the energy to smash through a boulder, and every spell seemed to drain me of all I had left. I pressed on – I was too stubborn to admit that Merlin was right about me being exhausted – but within fifteen minutes, my entire body was shaking.

What in the multiverse was _wrong_ with me?

"Blizzard!" I yelled at a triad of flying plates, and a weak flurry of snowflakes were emitted from my Keyblade. One plate cracked, but did not shatter, and the other two weren't even touched. Grumbling, I quickly swung my key to destroy the rest. As I watched them shatter, my unused arm was subconsciously brought to my chest – within the past few minutes, my chest had started burning, like I had a bad case of heartburn.

"That wasn't very potent," Merlin coached me from the wall. He waved his hands, sending forth a new group of dishes. "Try again."

I tried to ready myself, but I couldn't bring my hand back to my side from my chest – it hurt too much. Struggling for breath, I held my Key at the ready. The plates flew forward, and I tried to subdue them with a larger spell: "Thunder," I whispered desperately. A crackle was heard from my weapon, but no bolts were cast; the plates, unharmed, swirled down to attack me, and I fell to the floor.

"Kairi!" I heard Merlin call. I heard the sound of a spell being cast – the distinct twinkling rustle of magic – and I thought that he had cast a Blizzard spell on me, for suddenly I was freezing. I trembled on the floor, curled on my side. I could barely breathe.

"Princess, can you hear me?" the sage questioned urgently. I felt a calloused hand touch my arm.

"Your hand is freezing," I mumbled weakly – his skin felt like he had been submerged in ice for hours on end.

"No, my dear, I'm afraid that you have a very high fever," he explained, moving his wrinkled hand from my forearm to my forehead.

"Really, I'm fine," I tried to explain. "Just give me a minute –" Suddenly, I began to choke. Between my strangled coughs and hacks, I could not breathe. Desperate for air, I tried to stop; I began to hyperventilate.

Then the world tilted once more, sending me into a maelstrom. I felt myself heave with more energy than I thought I was capable of mustering at the moment, and I vomited blood.

"PRINCESS!" Merlin yelled. My vision was so blurred that I could no longer see him, and I panicked when I felt his crinkly touch disappear. I could taste the blood and bile in my mouth, a disgusting combination of salt and acid…

"Oh my god!"

"Is she ok?"

"What happened?"

"Kairi, can you hear me?" Aerith's normally halcyon voice demanded. I felt a soft hand press to my cheek. "Goodness, she's on fire!"

"Kai, can you hear me?" Yuffie asked in high soprano. "What did you do?"

"Don't crowd her, Yuf."

"I'm just trying to figure out what happened!"

The world spun again behind my closed eyelids, and I twisted to the side, vomiting once more. I felt someone – Tifa? – recoil in disgust. I tried to apologize, but I didn't have enough air…

"Ew…" Yep. Tifa.

"She's hyperventilating again," Aerith worried. "Kairi, you have to calm down."

"I'm…trying…" I managed to choke out before heaving again. My stomach lurched, and I felt like I was going to dispel my intestines.

"Curaga," the sage spoke, and although I felt extremely powerful magic swirl around me, I felt no better.

"Your magic didn't work?" Yuffie asked, astounded.

"It seems so," Merlin whispered, the disbelief in his voice almost tangible. "This means that this is far beyond the powers of magic…" he paused, and I could mentally picture his head snapping up, sending his wizard's hat off of his head. His silvery eyes would glint with sudden knowledge – that was never a good thing. Merlin knew _everything._

"Someone needs to go get Naminé," he ordered. "Now." Two bodies left my side, and at the thought of my Nobody, I started to convulse. What if she wasn't ok? Was this the result of her being hurt? Was she doing this to me?

"Nam…in…é…" I said brokenly.

"She'll be here soon," Aerith promised, pulling my head into her lap.

"I can't…feel…" I ran out of breath, and I gasped for air. Breathing was becoming harder and harder, and the smell of gall burned my nose as it trickled through my throat.

"What?" Aerith prodded. "What can't you feel?" I tried moving the left side of my body, but found I could no longer control those shaking muscles.

"Left…" I whispered. Aerith must have seen me struggling, as I heard her gasp.

"Curaga," she commanded; once again, I felt the strong magic – this time, it did a little bit more to help me. My chest grew heavier and heavier, and as I tried to open my eyes, I saw Aerith's terrified face.

"Kairi, keep breathing," she urged, stroking my hair. "Curaga," she whispered again.

I hacked again, twisting as I shook. It felt like someone had laid a thousand bricks on my chest – with startling fear, I realized I was suffocating.

"Can't…breathe…" I mouthed between my fruitless gasps for oxygen.

"Curaga!" Aerith cried once more. I managed one big breath – then I heaved blood, again. "Merlin!" I heard the older girl call frantically. Hurried footsteps resounded from the floor, and I heard the sage land by our side with multiple clinks of glass – it seemed he had brought multiple healing potions. There was a pop of one uncorking, and I felt the sweet liquid fall into my gaping mouth. I tried to swallow, but my gulp met another heave, and I vomited once more.

"Kairi, try to keep this down," the wizard urged, pouring more of the elixir into my mouth. I swallowed some – the tingly feeling ran through my body, but did not cease the excruciating pain.

"Better?" Aerith asked.

I was about to answer when I heard a frantic shout. "Merlin, we need help!" Yuffie yelled.

I continued struggling to breathe as I felt the vibrations of two pairs of running feet rush towards me; I managed to gasp as I felt the weight of a body lowered next to mine.

Naminé.

"My chest…" she gasped, the pain audible in her weak voice. "I'm gonna explode…"

"You're gonna be fine," Tifa assured her.

"My chest…too much pressure…" Huh, that was funny. Mine felt like it was gonna collapse. The world suddenly shifted again, and I completely lost my eyesight. I heaved once more, expelling fresh bile and blood, then choking on it.

"She can't breathe!"

"Give her more of the potion!"

"She can't keep it down!"

"Kairi?" Nami voiced quietly. I tried to answer her, but there was no air in my lungs…

"She has to keep breathing!"

"AGH!" I managed to scream; a searing pain coursed through my chest, slicing me in two. It felt like someone had just thrust a Keyblade into my heart; if this was what Sora had undergone in order to unlock my heart, I don't know why he didn't just let me die. Someone was torturing me now. I wildly thrashed, trying to hurt my attacker, then I fell into spasms.

"Hold her down!" Merlin ordered, and I felt two pairs of strong arms on either side of my body.

"No!" I screamed, my voice shrill. "Please! Stop! AGH!" I thrashed some more and cried again as the slicing pain renewed itself tenfold. Who would be opening me with a Keyblade? Sora and Riku were the only two people I knew of that even _had_ them, besides King Mickey – but he had no reason to hurt me. "Please," I begged, my voice shaking with more intensity than my quivering body. "I'm sorry…"

"Kairi! Calm down!" a lucid voice urged me. Everyone seemed so far away…were they abandoning me? Was this my fate, my karma for hurting the two people I loved most? Yes, yes it was – they had teamed together to kill me. An eye for an eye, a heart for a heart – I was to be tortured to death.

"Who is she talking to?"

"I'm not sure…"

Another twist of pain, and I was screaming again. "NO!" I wailed. "Please! Stop! Sora…" I began to choke again, this time more violently. Blood swam through my blackened vision, and I coughed so hard that I felt one of my ribs break, causing me to scream more in agony. My voice was hoarse, and my throat stung from the blood trailing sinuously down it. My chest throbbed, my heart threatening to collapse at any given moment.

"Ri-ku," I whispered hoarsely. "P-p-please…"

"Kairi, nobody's here!"

"Keep healing her!"

"It's not working!"

"KEEP TRYING!"

Next to me, Naminé screamed. My eyes no longer saw the world around me, but I could picture her, in her pristine form, wailing and thrashing like I was. "Nami!" I tried to yell, but no words were voiced.

"My…chest…" she sobbed. Her breathing was rapid and shallow, and I could feel her trembling.

"She's extremely bloated," a voice above me observed worriedly.

"Kairi's collapsing –"

"Naminé's exploding –"

"Keep healing them! It's the only thing that will keep them alive!"

"Stay with us!"

"Don't quit now, not when you've come so far!"

The world spun again, and I felt like I was falling. I no longer felt the floor beneath me, I no longer felt the strong arms that held me down, I no longer heard my Nobody screaming besides me – there was just me and the pain, the pain and me. We flailed in a world that was absolutely our own, one where nobody could hear me and nobody could help me.

I was going to die now.

I felt myself gasp – I was no longer one with my body – and unthinkably, I reached for Naminé. Did I have time to tell her I loved her before the pain drove me from this world? Did I have time to embrace her, whisper that I was sorry into her white-gold hair? My fingers locked with her, and I gave the last of my energy to squeeze her hand.

I was just in time. As soon as our skin collided, a new pain ripped through me with the power of one thousand hurricanes. I was being thrown about in this new, devoid world, my body being rocked and tossed like a rag doll. My torturers were going to rip me limb from limb. I squeezed my eyes shut harder – _please let me die_, I mentally begged. The stabbing, twisting pain increased, and Naminé and I screamed in unison, our voices harmonizing into a sick, twisted chord of death.

The all-encompasing pain got stronger one last time, crescendoing to the grand finale of my life. This was goodbye.

_I love you all_, I whispered to myself as three pairs of eyes flashed before mine. _Please forgive me_.

My heart raced on, heaving and throbbing for one final moment, and then I felt it. The blade sliced through my chest, completely cutting my heart in two. The raw intensity of the blow was so powerful, so potent, so utterly murderous that I could not scream, and my mouth formed a hollow "O."

Then, like a wave breaks away from the beach it crashes upon, the pain receded, leaving lingering remnants of its course. My entire body ached.

And then everything went black.

* * *

**…what just _happened?_**

**Is she dead?**

**Is she not dead?**

**The next chapter will be up soon! No, no our story is FAR from over!**

**Vehe**

**P.S. Wow. That was the longest chapter I've ever written, and I decided to cut it in half to get this part up for you guys faster. Twelve pages on Word. Holy Christmas.**


	12. Chapter Eleven: Decisions, part Two

**Here's the next part to "Decisions!"**

**Thank you's:**

**Kinkajou Karata – **Thank you! Haha, it came partially of her running out of energy, but the real reason why is explained in this next chapter. Enjoy!

**Inspiration of Imagination – **Thank you! I hope this was a speedy enough update for you! Don't cry!

**Satan966 – **You are too kind! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! That means so so so so so much to me. I write to please. Consider this next chapter dedicated to you for your sweet words.

**Electron Beam – **Hahaha! I love the House mention! I was deciding between cotton candy and Nyquil…but I figured if they tasted like the latter, nobody would want to drink them (because Nyquil is the worst tasting stuff KNOWN TO MAN), so then nobody would heal themselves, and everyone would die/become Heartless…and that's no good. So they taste good. I wonder…would it be cool if they all tasted different? Like, potions taste different than Megapotions which taste different than elixirs which taste different from Megalixirs? Huh… you've really got me started on something here! Thanks for the review, man! Oh, another question – are you a football fan? I was pretty upset when Navy didn't pull through Saturday. Oh, how I love an underdog.

**HitokiriHERO – **Haha I guess I'm just a little proud of myself. You're right – it was a wound of the heart! Congrats for guessing right!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Kingdom Hearts. If I did, the third game would already be out, and there would be a virtual reality mode.

* * *

_Kairi, can you hear me?_

Everything hurt.

_Kairi, wake up…_

I couldn't breathe. I couldn't move. It all hurt too much.

_Kairi, please…_

"_No,_" I wanted to answer the far-off voice. "_It's too painful…_" But a persistent hand shook my shoulder, and with more effort than I thought I had left to give, I opened my eyes.

The world around me was twisted in a blurry array of colors, like someone had thrown me into a kaleidoscope, forcefully spun the color wheels, and then shaken the tube. The effect was nauseating; I felt my insides roll sickly, and I twisted to hurl – but I had nothing left to expel.

"Kairi?" the same far-away voice asked me.

"Mmm?" I groaned in response. Articulate vocalization required too much energy…and I just wanted to rest…

"She's coming back," the voice reported with relief. "Her pulse is steady too."

"So is hers," another world-away voice answered. _Who else was there?_ I wondered incoherently. Memories were slowly drifting back into my mind, like a smell wafts from a kitchen to the rooms around it; I remembered fighting, I remembered practicing, I remembered _so much pain_…

I remembered reaching for a hand…

Naminé?

I tried whispering her name, but I couldn't get my body to understand what my mind was thinking.

"She's ok, Kai," the now-closer far-away voice answered my unspoken call. "She's gonna be fine, and so are you."

The world began to come back in focus now, and I hazily made out a face framed with brown hair above mine.

"Ae-rith?" I mouthed again.

"Yes?" the person above me responded. Her face became more and more clear until I could clearly see the worry in her eyes.

"What…happened?" I managed to ask.

"We're not exactly sure. You and Nami got very, very sick all of a sudden, but it seems the two of you will be fine."

"Her heartbeat is very, very strong. She's completely vital," I heard Merlin report nearby.

"But that doesn't make any sense," someone else – Yuffie? – answered. "She's a Nobody – she shouldn't _have_ a heartbeat."

"I do not think, after the events of today, that our Naminé is a Nobody anymore," the wizard responded.

…_what?_

* * *

Thirty minutes later, both Naminé and I had been brought back to consciousness. We had been intensely looked-after: while I had sustained many injuries, namely a massive loss of blood and a shattered rib, Naminé did not seem injured past superficial bumps and bruises. Once the group had affirmed that we were no longer in a life-threatening situation, we were ushered into the Great Room. Nami practically skipped downstairs; I, however, was too weak to stand, so Tifa and Yuffie carried me to the level below.

So here we sat, somehow all squished around the table in the raised center of the room, sipping homemade tea à la Aerith. I wrapped the blanket I was huddled in around my body tighter; while the others seemed to be at ease, I was freezing.

"Merlin?" Naminé asked softly, raising her pale-blue eyes from the tablecloth to look at him.

"Yes?" the sage responded.

"What did you mean earlier…when you said I wasn't a Nobody?"

"Ah," he nodded, wisdom and curiosity battling for control in his ancient eyes. "I cannot be sure, my dear, but I believe that the end result of today's violent illness is –" he paused, eyes shifting from the blonde's to mine. I nodded, and he cleared his throat. "You and Kairi are no longer two halves to a whole."

"How can that happen?" I asked feebly, coughing.

"I do not know," Merlin responded, shrugging. "I have studied Nobodies, but never has there been record of this occurring. But young Naminé now has a heartbeat, where there was none before. The only reasonable explanation I can give is that somehow, today, she gained a heart of her own." I could feel three pairs of eyes on me, but I only looked at Naminé. She looked down at her chest, and then slowly, gingerly, brought her hand up to the side of her throat. She laid two fingers in the groove there.

"I feel it!" she cried happily, her face lighting up like a Christmas tree. "I have a heart! I have my own heartbeat!"

"Naminé, that's wonderful," Aerith smiled, reaching for her hand and squeezing it in a maternal way.

I wasn't sure how to feel for Naminé. On one hand, she was part of me – well, she _used_ to be part of me, anyway – and I was happy that she was happy. But on the other hand…what did this mean for me?

"So…what happened?" I asked. "I mean, how are Naminé and I related now? Are we…related?" I finished, my voice rising awkwardly at the end.

"Perhaps I can be of more assistance," an ominous voice answered from the makeshift doorway. All eyes looked to the opening, where a tall, thin man stood, dressed in robes similar to Merlin's; however, his cloak was a deeper, royal blue, and his wizard's hat was patterned with golden moons and stars that seemed to radiate all on their own. His facial features were much sharper than Merlin's as well; while Merlin had a rounder, more cherubic face and kindly eyes, this man had sharper features and a shrewd stare that seemed like it could look right through you. His beard was a darker slate grey, but they both possessed the same old, wrinkled hands, aged from years upon years of magical practice.

"Master Yen Sid!" Merlin cried, quickly rising to greet the other wizard. "My dear, old friend!"

"Merlin," Master Yen Sid responded, his piercing eyes taking on a fleeting air of warmth. "It has been too long."

"Eons," Merlin agreed. "What brings you to my humble home?" he asked, ushering in the Master.

"I was alerted that a strange thing occurred today," the second sage relayed with somber propriety. "I have been studying the Nobodies for some time, and today, my worldly findings showed an unusual occurrence in this world – in your home, to be exact. I came immediately to ensure your safety." Merlin waved his hand, and a similar high-backed chair of rose satin appeared at the table. Master Yen Sid sat down.

"My dear friend, I thank you profusely for your concern, but all seems to be in order," Merlin answered. Yen Sid nodded, but then turned his sharp eyes on Naminé. My sister – was that what she was now? – gulped in fear.

"I am glad," he responded, eyes never leaving her, "but perhaps we should discuss what occurred."

"Please," Merlin encouraged him; the sage seemed to be the only one at peace in the presence of the new man, for the rest of us were greatly intimidated. He had the kind of gaze that made the hair on the back of your neck stand up when he looked at you, and he had an air about him as if he already knew all the secrets of your past. Even Aerith, who was never one to judge by appearances, seemed nervous.

"I have many complex systems at my disposal to track and report on the activities of Nobodies," the Master began, never looking away from Naminé. "Each system is like a giant map of each world. Certain areas of individual worlds give off a certain color, which portrays what kind of life exists there – an individual aura, let's say. The color and intensity of each aura tells me what type of life there thrives. For example," he explained in his stately way, "Merlin's light is a royal blue. Kairi Hanner, Princess of Heart –" I was shocked by the fact that he knew my full name and who I was, "has a red hue. The brighter each color, the more vital the life. Black indicates the presence of Heartless, while white shows the existence of Nobodies. You, Naminé Hanner," he said, looking at – no, _through_ – Naminé, "had a hue of pale rose. That showed me that you were indeed a Nobody, as your color was not strong, and it showed me that you were closely connected to Kairi, as rose is a mixture of her red and the Nobody's white.

"Today, however, an oddity occurred. Kairi's light began to flicker and fade – not to black, but to nothing. Nonexistence. I was troubled because, as she is a Princess of Heart, it is of utmost importance that her heart be with her body and soul, and if the these entities are to split, they both be reconnected immediately. I saw Merlin's aura near hers, and it gave me peace that my old friend was assisting the Princess." He gave a brief smile, which the other sage gladly accepted and returned.

"However, Kairi's aura continued to straddle the divide between Life and Nonexistence. Soon, Naminé's pale light was brought near the Princess's – I was relieved, as I thought the two were to be reconnected, which would give Kairi vitality. Instead," he paused, looking shrewdly from Naminé to me, "the auras were not fused, and Kairi continued to battle for her life.

"Suddenly, it seemed that the two auras, light rose and vivid red, disconnected from the map completely. They swirled in a violent maelstrom alone, tangoing in a divide between worlds…finally, just as Kairi's light seemed to be at its death, her aura split – half returned to Kairi, while the other half merged with Naminé. Her aura grew stronger – the power of the sun as compared to the meek shining of a star. But Kairi's did not fade."

So…Naminé had a human light. Did that mean she was…a _Somebody?_

"The only logical explanation I can give is that Kairi's heart split in two, and each Hanner sister received half."

"Why?" I asked, breaking the riveting silence in which we were desperately paying attention.

"That I cannot answer," the Master replied. He then turned to look at Nami. "Your sister, however, knows."

Naminé looked startled, as if she had just been called on in class while she was daydreaming. The rest of the round table looked on at her expectantly. She cowered a little within her large chair, but then she looked at me. "Kairi," she began, "w-when I was in the c-c-closet, I kept thinking about Roxas. And y-you were so sure of your course, but it wasn't one I wanted to follow with you. I w-wanted to be with him. I miss him," she explained meekly. "Y-you may be fine with leaving everything behind, but I'm not. And more than anything, I w-wanted to go f-f-find him."

I looked at her blankly. I knew she wanted to go find her lover boy, but that didn't mean anything to me. I shrugged – _keep going._

"In the closet, I kept thinking how I wish I was able to do what I wanted – and I decided that I didn't want to follow you anymore," she explained, finally looking me in the eyes. They seemed to possess more strength and determination than they had before, and I could see the new power behind her words. "I just figured, you'd come to your conclusion and I'd come to mine, and it didn't matter if they were different – we both had equal right to do what we wanted," she shrugged. "And that's when my chest started hurting."

"What did you feel, Kairi?" the Master asked me.

"It was immensely painful – I thought I was dying. I thought someone was killing me." Naminé looked down dejectedly.

"And you, young Naminé?" Merlin asked my former other half.

"It felt like my chest was exploding."

"It felt like someone was ripping mine apart," I countered.

"They both couldn't breathe," Yuffie added, speaking for the first time. Even she, the loudmouth of the group, was in awe of the Master.

"Kairi was vomiting blood – a _lot _of it," Tifa recalled, shuddering. I still had to apologize for that.

"And they were both having violent seizures," Aerith finished politely.

"No matter how we healed them, by magic or potion, the effects were only nominal," Merlin recounted to the Master, who nodded solemnly. "I honestly thought that we were going to lose Kairi to the Dark, because not even the strongest spells had a substantial effect."

"Interesting," Yen Sid responded.

"So do Naminé and I each have half of a heart now?" I asked dumbly – I was still in shock.

"One would suppose," the Master started, and my heart sank. "But you two have always been an interesting case."

"How so?" Naminé inquired.

"Well, you, my dear, were born from Kairi's heart but not her body. And today, looking at the aura map of this world," he paused as if he were searching for the right words, "Kairi's heart split in two. However, if you were halves to a whole, both of your auras would be half the original color of Kairi's red light. But that is not the case."

"Then what is?" I prodded.

He continued on in the same ominous tone: "Instead, after 'splitting,' both Kairi's aura and Naminé's aura returned to the power of Kairi's original light. It does not make sense – two completely vital, thriving hearts should not be able to be created out of the fission of one. They should be two equal halves of the original power –"

"But instead, they are two hearts multiplied of the first," Merlin finished for him; the other wizard nodded. "Ah, the powers of the heart," Merlin mused.

"So…Naminé's heart is just as strong as Kairi's heart?" Yuffie asked. Both sages nodded once more in affirmation.

"I'm free?" Nami said, awkwardly testing out the words together.

"You were always free," I responded coldly.

"It seems not," the Master answered before the blonde had a chance to spit something back. "Once a Nobody reunites with its Somebody, it becomes exceedingly difficult to separate again, especially for long periods of time, and even more difficult separating over time and distance. If Naminé chose to deviate from your path, she risked fading into Nonexistence."

"But now I can make whatever choices I want without it…hurting?" she asked with hopeful eyes.

"Yes," both sages replied.

"How do I leave this world, then?"

"I will show you the way when I myself leave," Master Yen Sid said.

"So you're leaving, then," I asked, my question sounding more like a statement.

"Kairi –"

"Don't 'Kairi' me."

She swallowed once before trying again. "Kai, this has never been my battle; you've known that from the beginning. Our hearts were in such different places that they physically _split_."

"Don't you think I know that? You're not the one who can barely walk." She got it easy. While she was skipping and prancing around, I still felt like I'd been hit by a truck.

"I understand what you're doing – it's noble, even," she shrugged. "But it's not the course I choose to take. I _have_ to be with him, Kairi. There's never been another road for me besides that." She looked at me intensely, like she was trying to read the thoughts behind my blank stare. "Please understand," she asked quietly.

"If that's what your heart says, then go," I said simply. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too, Kai."

"Where will you go?" Yuffie asked, cocking her head to the side.

"I'll start in Radiant Gardens, probably. Maybe Twilight Town."

"Don't tell him – _them_ – where we are," I ordered, trying to make my lifeless eyes as mean as possible. "Remember where our hearts differ – I don't _want_ him to find me. I don't want _anyone_ to find me."

"Don't worry, Kai," Tifa smiled. "By the time Naminé finds Roxas or Roxy or whoever she's looking for, we'll be _long_ gone." She winked, and I felt a rueful smile pull at my face – at least Aerith, Yuffie, and Tifa weren't giving up on me.

Not like someone else.

But in all fairness, as betrayed as I felt – I sort of dragged her into this. I shouldn't feel guilty or abandoned now that she could make her own choices – she was my sister, and I loved her. I wanted her to be happy.

But was this goodbye?

She must have been thinking the same thing. "This won't be the last time we see each other, will it?"

Suddenly the air was melancholy; this felt like goodbye. But I didn't want it to be. "We pray for our sorrows to end," I said.

"And hope for our hearts to blend," she answered, a tiny smile pulling at her face. Yen Sid, after conversing at length with Merlin, had prepared to leave.

"Now I will step forward to realize this wish," we both chorused. Naminé Hanner, my sister, my twin, now stood to leave. She smoothed her dress, descended the stairs from the raised table, and strode to Master Yen Sid. There, she turned around.

"I'll miss you all," she whispered. I nodded in response.

"Farewell," the sage said, bidding us goodbye. Merlin bowed; the Master returned the gesture. He straightened, turned, and left the house. Naminé, with one last glance at us, followed.

A thousand questions ran through my mind. _What if she gets hurt? What if I never see her again? What if she doesn't find Sora – Roxas, _I mentally corrected. _What – what if she does? What if they decide they like her better, and they give up looking for me? What if Sora's happier with Naminé?_

What _if_ Sora were happier with Naminé? Although she and I had separated, the boys hadn't; what if Roxas was so happy that his Naminé had returned that Sora was content with just her? _You knew that could happen when you set out on this journey,_ I mentally chastised myself. _You realized he could find someone else and completely forget about you. You _knew_ that._

_Yeah, _another part of my mind defended my histrionics_, but I never guessed that he'd find happiness with my Nobody. Well, former Nobody. _

And if he did? What if ten years from now, I were to run into them, Naminé and Sora/Roxas? What if they were happily married? What if _she_ was his true love? What if I just fell out of the picture when she walked in?

_That, _I finally decided, _is just a chance I have to take._

"Kairi?" Aerith asked me, pulling me from my reverie.

"Yes?"

"Let's head back to the Second District. We've all had a long day – you especially. How does dinner sound?"

"Wonderful," I complied. "Thank you."

"Don't worry, kid," Tifa said, "you're gonna be fine."

"We'll start training again tomorrow. You really kicked ass today." Yuffie added with a big smile.

"Thanks guys," I said, smiling for what seemed like the first time in ages.

_We could continue training tomorrow,_ I repeated to myself. _I'd get even stronger._

Yes we could.

Yes we would.

* * *

**Whattaya think?**

**Let me know! Press the button! Press the button!**

**Vehe**


	13. Chapter Twelve: Meanwhile

**I am a bad person.**

**I am a **_**very **_**bad person. **

**I apologize profusely for the time between chapters. You know how life is – school sucked me into a whirlwind of work, and the season for the equestrian team which I captain started up…but I'm back now! All I can say is that I am so, so, so sorry.**

**But you don't want to hear from me! You want to hear what happens next! So on with the show!**

**Quick thank you's:**

**VirgilTheart: **Thanks big guy! I'll admit – I'm pretty proud of myself for coming up with my own way of a Nobody becoming a Somebody.

**ElectronBeam**: My dear friend, your words of praise always mean so much to me. I am a fan of mini-maps myself! Haha. Maps are a good thing. And as for length of this story, we still have a ways to go…

No seriously, like a longggggggg ways to go. Thanks again for reading!

**Ghost Writer no. 3**: I totally get what you're saying. Kairi's just had a long day – she's a little jaded that Naminé seemed to walk away from the heartsplitting episode fine and while she's still in a _lot_ of pain. And there's the fear that she'll never see her sister again – but don't worry, Kairi will go back to being her happy self soon enough! Thanks for reading!

**Divine Wolfe:** Please don't go emo! Haha! Enjoy the next chapter!

**Kinkajou Karata:** You have an excellent memory, my friend! Thanks for staying with me!

**Miggel:** You are TOO sweet. That is the biggest compliment anyone has ever given me on here. Thank you for being so kind!

**Dearlyybeloved:** Haha thank you! I really appreciate your comments on both the romantic/action aspects of my story. I try not to delve more into one than the other, but it happens…yet I'm glad that I write them both well! I want to be able to captivate my audience while still giving them that "aww" moment haha. So thank you for the positive reinforcement!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Kingdom Hearts._ But I'd like to!

* * *

I hate jogging.

Really, I do.

I guess when you're the Keyblade Master, any form of exercise short of battle with monsters that want to rip your heart out and convert you into a soulless being is well…boring.

But when you're left alone on an little island without the girl you love, who, by the way, left because apparently you weren't doing something right and you didn't give her enough so she left to find whatever it is in the multiverse that she was missing, and without your best friend, who, by the way, left because the girl that you love left because _he_ loves that same girl and is off on some hell bent quest to _give _her whatever in the multiverse she's missing, any distraction is welcome and invited.

Hence the jogging.

At first, I would do my rounds on the main island, rising just as the sun started to banish the night sky. But even for the early hour, I'd see too many people – getting their newspapers, sitting on the front porch sipping coffee, early birds getting a jump on traffic, whatever. Lots of different people, yet all with the same eyes – the same shrewd, judging eyes. They'd see me running, pounding the pavement with my feet, chest heaving with labored breath, going, going, run, run, don't stop, _don't stop_, go, go, go, murderous pace, can't quit, keep the faith, _keep going!_

And they all looked like they felt sorry for me.

And we can't have that, now can we?

So that's what brought me here, to the little play island. I'd rather face all the memories of _her_ here than their eyes out there.

Believe me, it wasn't easy running around what used to be _our_ place. Every step I took, every spot I stood in even for a fraction of a second – those were all places where she was once with me. Together. And as much as I'd like to believe it, happy.

Maybe it was good for me to come here. The constant reminder of how painful life was without her would spur me into putting another two hundred percent effort into my quest to find her and prove that I was the right man.

I ran past a shadow; I actually sidestepped to be as far away from it as possible. It wasn't like the shadow was going to materialize and come after me – I had been running for an hour and a half now. If a Shadow was coming out of a shadow, well, it would have found me by now. The keyhole had been unlocked for all of two seconds – that wasn't nearly enough time to plunge the heart of the world into darkness. I stopped, stared at the dark patch beneath the palm tree for a moment, cocking my head and squinting my eyes.

Yep. Just a shadow of the lower-case kind.

Since when had I become so paranoid? I had fought – and slain, mind you – thousands upon _thousands_ of Shadows over the course of my career. And never once had I given a second thought to the kind of shadows that followed you.

I thought back to the first major Heartless I had ever fought – that weird dream where I was told I had to choose my strengths and weaknesses, where I was first introduced to the dark. That huge, black, _thing_ (I still hadn't found an appropriate term for it, not that I particularly wanted one) had literally stepped up from the ground behind me and risen into some behemoth (again, lower-case kind) that I had to defeat. On the first day.

…yeah, maybe I should pay more attention to the kind of shadows that follow you.

I stopped, turned around, drew my Keyblade. The palm tree was just as menacing as it was before – please pick up on the sarcasm present when I use the words "palm tree" and "menacing" together – but I still felt on edge. After about a minute of guarding it, I roared in frustration.

A fricken _palm tree_ was enough to put me on edge.

It didn't help that just three days ago, I had watched my best friend let inky black shadows crawl up his body and devour him as he succumbed to the potent power of the Darkness once more. It didn't help that he was currently out in the worlds somewhere, looking for the girl we were both desperately trying to win. And it definitely didn't help that I was still stuck here on this tiny island waiting – freaking _waiting_ – for someone to come get me.

Snarling, I threw myself into a blind sprint down the beach, holding my Keyblade at the ready as if I were charging some nasty opponent. My anger and frustration had completely overtaken me. My feet kicked up sand in torrents as I hurtled down the stretch, past the bridge that led to the little island, past the sandy stretch where I used to play blitzball with the guys. I finally reached the dock – I had nowhere left to run, but I still had plenty of emotion coursing through me. In one final show of fury toward the worlds, I threw my Keyblade into the ocean, watched it sink.

I flopped heavily onto the dock, completely laying myself out. It's not that I didn't want to be the Keyblade Master – I definitely did. I just sometimes hated the strings that came along with it. If I had been a normal teenager – hell, if _all_ of us had been normal teenagers – I wouldn't have to balance trying to have a romantic relationship with someone I love and trying to save the world. Kairi wouldn't need a constant protector because she's a Princess of Heart and the Darkness wouldn't constantly be trying to devour her and spit out her bones. Riku wouldn't need to constantly have his guard up in fear that at any given moment, some evil would try to recapture his soul again.

And we would have normal teenage problems, like school and prom and getting our licenses and dating and college.

But I wasn't normal. None of us were. I mean, I guess I should be thankful for the situation we were in – had Kairi been normal, she wouldn't have needed to leave Radiant Gardens in the first place. So I never would have met her. And then I would be pining over Selphie or something.

Gross.

Really, I was thankful for everything. It was honestly pretty cool knowing that, despite the humongous responsibility of carrying the wellbeing of the worlds on my shoulders, I was the one the worlds had chosen as their savior. They deemed _me_ capable of being the superhero.

And believe me, did I ever want to be one! I'm not trying to be cocky – _oh, I'm the big badass who's the only one good enough to save the world, ooh, look at me. _Yeah, no. But seriously – no little boy _doesn't_ want to be Superman. Did I ever think that I would be the one who got actually chosen to step into his shoes? Not on my life. But given the chance? I'm sure as hell not saying no.

Slowly, I curled my outstretched fingers. On cue, the Keyblade appeared in my hand. I smiled gently; in spite of the enormous responsibility that came with it, my weapon was the one friend who would never leave me. And for that sense of stability, I was forever grateful.

* * *

"Uh, Sora?"

I startled from my thoughts, somewhere halfway between sleep and daydream. A figure stood over my face, an inky black silhouette shading me from the sun and preventing his own face from being seen. I squinted, trying to make out his features. "Who are you?"

"Sora, it's me!" The being straightened his back, standing upright. I quickly got to my feet and turned to face him.

"Goofy!" I cried, running forward to hug my old friend. "You're here!" I guess I was a little too enthusiastic, because I accidentally knocked him over. We landed on the dock in a laughing heap. "Hey, where's Donald?" I asked between giggling fits.

"I was right behind him," a voice croaked from beneath Goofy through an orange bill that was poked between Goofy's back and his arm. The fact that we had landed on Donald just made things even funnier.

Eventually, we stood up, and I gave Donald – who was still pouting over being squashed – a proper hug. "Why are you all wet?" he complained.

I looked down at my sweat-soaked shirt, now plastered to my torso. "Um, I guess I was training a little harder than I thought I was," I shrugged sheepishly.

"Sora, how long were you runnin'?" The largest asked.

"About two hours?"

"TWO HOURS!" Donald exclaimed. "Oh boy!"

"Gee, no wonder you're so tired!" the dog hyucked in reply.

"Yeah, well – I have a lot to keep me running these days," I muttered. Our joking conversation turned serious. Sighing, I reached my hand up to scratch the back of my neck. Looking up, I said, "I guess you guys got my message, huh?"

"Yeah," Donald answered. "Sora, what happened?"

I sat down and told them everything – starting with the first day we got back. How I had kissed Kairi – they laughed when I blushed deeper than Queen Minnie's dress – and how I didn't do anything after that, how Riku had asked Kairi out on a date, how we fought for her, how we hurt her, how she ran, how he ran after her.

"And so, that's why I'm running for two hours a day. It's the only way I have to get rid of my frustration," I finished, letting my exhausted body fall back on the dock. I shut my eyes against the morning sun.

"Sora, you know how powerful anger is," Donald chided. "It's the first tool the Darkness uses to control you."

"Yeah, I know," I replied. "That's why I'm out here running instead of keeping it all inside me. If I can get it out of my body, the Darkness can't use it to hurt me."

"But, uh, you go runnin' every mornin', don't ya?" Goofy asked.

"Yeah," I sighed. "The anger comes back quickly. But I'm fighting it every day, and trying to think of something useful to do instead. You know – how I can find her."

"Do you have any idea where she went?" Donald questioned, cocking his head.

"Not a clue. I didn't even know she could drive a Gummi ship."

"She's pretty smart," Goofy smiled.

I snorted. "Don't remind me. That's how she got the drop on me in the first place."

"Would she go back to Radiant Gardens?" Donald offered. "That's where she's from and all."

"Yeah – I thought about that, and it seems like the most likely choice."

"Maybe Twilight Town? Goofy said.

"Naminé likes it there, so yeah – that's possible."

"The Castle that Never Was?"

Donald shook his head, slapped his feathered palm to his forehead. "Goofy, why would she be there?"

"Well, uh, she was held captive there, y'know? Maybe she likes it or somethin'," he shrugged in response.

"I have a feeling she's hiding. So she'll be somewhere where she doesn't think we'll look."

"Ok," Donald said. "Where wouldn't we look?"

The three of us sat there in silence on the dock for a while. There were _lots_ of places I'd never think of looking – Kairi had only been to a handful of the worlds I had visited. I seriously doubted she'd go somewhere she'd never been before. She'd want to go somewhere where she felt safe but at the same time she thought she could hide from me.

Radiant Gardens seemed to be the only reasonable place. She didn't know the world well – she had to leave when she was very young – but she liked the way she felt there. When I would ask her about it, she would get this far-off look in her eyes, shrug her shoulders, and say "It feels like home to me." The fact that she didn't know the lay of the land there upset her a lot, so she had taken to memorizing whatever maps and pictures she could find.

Yeah, if I had to pick somewhere, Radiant Gardens seemed like the most…prudent choice.

"I feel like Radiant Gardens is a good place to start," I finally replied. "It's – it's probably a good idea to check in with the Committee anyways. I'm sure they're still having a Heartless problem."

"And a Nobody problem," Donald added.

"But, uh, we haven't been called in yet, and King Mickey isn't worried. So as far as we know, everything is all hunky dory!" Goofy finished with a big grin.

I slowly rose to my feet; the others followed suit. Above us, on the little wooden treetop platform rest a brand new Gummi ship. We walked in silence off the dock, across the sand, and up the ladder to the higher story of our play island, finally reaching the open landing where our new vehicle was parked.

"Geez, guys, what is this thing?" I asked, looking at the shiny chrome and colorful Gummi blocks.

"This is our new ship!" Goofy exclaimed, patting it on the side. "Chip and Dale have been working on some improvements, and we get to test drive the prototype!"

"Test drive?" I asked, skeptically.

"It hasn't broken so far," Donald shrugged.

"Sora, you'll love it!" Goofy went on. "It's got brand new control thingymajigs, and a new radio doodad, and a larger bedroom area, and a really neat kitchen! With a really sparkly refrigerator!"

"Not to mention it flies faster," Donald deadpanned.

I tried to muster some excitement. "Sounds great, guys." They obviously picked up on my lack of enthusiasm, because both of my old friends turned to face me.

"Now, Sora," Donald began with a glint in his eye. "This ship runs on smiles!"

"No frowns, no sad faces," Goofy added in mock seriousness.

I remembered my first encounter with them back in Traverse Town. I had no clue what I was doing, or who I really was at the moment – it's not every day some ominous voice tells you you're the Keyblade Master. Anyway, I was just trying to hold my own when I ran into these guys – literally – and before we could even make proper introductions, they helped me defeat the biggest Heartless I had seen yet. Without asking questions or judging me. They were two of the nicest characters I had ever run across. Looking at them now, and thinking about everything we had gone through since then, a tiny part of me felt better knowing I was in such good company.

"C'mon, let's see that grin!" Goofy teased, only half-joking.

I turned around, and after composing the wackiest smile I could, I about-faced. The two cracked up immediately. Goofy pressed an inconspicuous panel of the Gummi – a door that was almost invisible swung open and wacky-colored stairs descended from the now-open area.

"You know Sora, you're pretty funny looking," Donald said.

"Don't push your luck, Duck Boy," I teased back. The three of us climbed aboard the new Gummi ship.

"Uh, does anyone remember which doodad shuts this door?"

**

* * *

I'm sorry if this felt like a filler chapter, but it was what needed to happen next. I feel from here on out, there will be a few major storylines that we'll follow – Kairi, Sora, Riku, and now Naminé – so it might get a little confusing at times. I'll do my best to maintain the stream of consciousness in a form that's not confusing. I just feel like a personal story such as this needs to be written in first person.**

**Once again, I apologize for the long wait between chapters! I promise it won't be so torturous next time!**

**I always love to hear your opinion!**

**Vehe**


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